Empress Amidala, in an AU where everything goes to shit and Padmé somehow ends up as as the all evil Empress of the galaxy, ruling with Darth Vader by her side (basically really all i wanted to do was to draw Padmé in EVIILLLL fashion)
Look I would pay real currency to watch a series of Anakin and Obi-Wan’s couples counseling. The angst and the passive-aggressiveness and the “I’m fine it’s fine everything’s fine” “NO IT’S NOT OBI-WAN NOTHING IS FINE”. Or individual Jedi counseling.
Better: I want to watch the documentary/mockumentary made by a GFFA psychologist who embeds themselves with the Jedi Order to better understand how they can all be so chill and collected – What’s their secret? How can we all learn, from their example, to embrace serenity in our own lives? – who eventually, as the documentary wears on, comes to realize that THE JEDI ORDER IS COMPRISED ENTIRELY OF EMOTIONAL TRAINWRECKS.
I am living for this now. As @
devilangel657 said, the idea of a psychologist embedding themselves in the Jedi Order and having to listen to the stories of the stupidity the Jedi have to deal with every goddamned day in their roles as peacekeepers and later freeing worlds, would be amazing.
They’re so serene and calm and put together when you first meet them! Then, like, a month later, “YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE SHIT I HAD TO DEAL WITH ON BRENTAL. LET’S JUST SAY IF I HAVE TO SEE ANOTHER FUCKING PIRATE I AM GOING TO SHOVE A LIGHTSABER UP THEIR ASS BEFORE THEY HAVE A CHANCE TO SAY A GODDAMNED WORD.” blares through the Force, even when all the Jedi says is, “It was a difficult mission, but I believe it has been resolved to the best of my abilities.”
Obi-Wan and Anakin’s couple’s therapy is a disaster. Sure, Anakin wants to talk about things! Until the psychologist turns to him and tries to make him talk about what’s eating him and then NOTHING IS WRONG, EVERYTHING’S FINE, he says angrily, crossing his arms and glaring.
Obi-Wan looks at the psychologist, not a single hint of self-awareness on his face, like, See what I have to deal with?
YES. Little by little, all these things come out and eventually it becomes clear that A) the Jedi have to put up with a TON of the universe’s bullshit, B) there are a LOT of secret affairs going on, both within and outside of the Order, and C) there is a WHOLE LOT of trauma being actively repressed.
I feel like Mace Windu would be amazing in this documentary series. The interviewer would be like “It sounds like you have a very difficult role, being responsible for so much in the Order. Would you agree?” and he just keeps staring into space like this:
…before finally taking a deep breath and being like, “It is a noble calling, and one I am honored to take on.”
Yoda cancels on his interview like 45 times, or pretends to be napping or dead when the guy shows up, because He Really Doesn’t Wanna Talk About This Stuff Everyone Knows The Order Is Just Fine Look How Well-Adjusted We All Are.
Quinlan Vos does his interview from a bar, during which he becomes increasingly inebriated. His interview turns into him just bragging about various conquests or awesome parties he’s been to on undercover missions. Viewers love him.
Obi-Wan explains to the horrified interviewer that he really totally wasn’t traumatized by being sent away to be a space farmer when he was 12, or the fact that he once got a rock for his birthday, or that his Space Dad was murdered in front of him. And that things between him and Anakin are FINE.
The two of them don’t realize they’re still mic’d up when they try to “discuss” things in the hallway in between filming after a particularly pointed on-screen argument. The resulting audio includes lecturing (Obi-Wan), dramatic yelling (Anakin), retreading of very old arguments (both), and eventually some mild dirty talk, which they vehemently deny later even though they both have mussed up hair when they return.
Ahsoka’s interview is hilarious, since it is mostly just her telling stories about Anakin or Obi-Wan embarrassing themselves.She manages to come off as one of the most competent people in the entire show despite the fact that she’s like 15. She instantly becomes a favorite of viewer commentators on the Holonet.
Some of the Clones get interviewed about what it’s like to work with the Jedi. This turns into all of them sharing “most insane thing my Jedi has done” stories, and it results in 157 hours of footage. They end up with their own series.
Chancellor Palpatine also does an extended interview as one of the Jedi’s closest colleagues, in which he repeatedly has to take a break from filming because he keeps breaking out into inappropriate giggles as he discusses how insightful the Order is, and what great partners they’ve been for his administration in helping it to achieve its goals.
I am crying at that screencap of Mace, that’s exactly the face he’d make.
“The Jedi aren’t perfect, we have our difficulties, just as anyone else in the galaxy does,” they all say. “But we deal with them internally to the best of our abilities. We’ve agreed to this documentary as a gesture of good will, we hope to reach out to our fellow Republic citizens and show that we are as human as any of you.”
What they don’t say is FUCK OFF WE DEAL WITH OUR PROBLEMS OURSELVES, but you kind of get that impression anyway. And the first half of the documentary is this build-up towards the idea that the Jedi are totally fucked up, they’re all a bunch of lunatics who refuse to admit they actually have problems.
But then the second half of the documentary has, like, 300 hours of footage of the Jedi dealing with two warring clans on some Mid-Rim world, each willing to nuke themselves into orbit just to spite the other side, and the Jedi have to deal with literal tantrums from political leaders at least once a month and they have to see politicians living these ridiculous lives of luxury, they have space caviar flown in specially hand delivered while ¾ths of their world are literally starving in poverty, and still have to smile and make nice with said politician because otherwise they won’t be able to get this trade agreement signed that will help the rest of the world, and all the while they’re not allowed to scream obscenities or anything. And you start to realize, oh, shit, I’d have gone off the deep end, too, if I had to deal with that every day of my life.
The documentary works in a roundabout way, endearing people to them–it shows the Jedi being human, that one time they caught Luminara Unduli making the most amazing bitch face, just for a moment, before she managed to smooth it back over. They caught Obi-Wan Kenobi actually swearing one time! They have at least an hour’s worth of outtakes of Anakin Skywalker flying around on his droid and crashing face-first into a wall or swanning off the top of the Temple and screaming when he misses the speeder Master Kenobi is driving to try to snag him the first time!
“It was a bit of a close call,” Anakin Skywalker says with a grin, “But I had it totally under control.” (Smash cut to Anakin screaming and flailing as story after story of the Temple blurs by him as he falls while Obi-Wan zips the speeder around for a second try.)
There’s a collage of the Greatest Faces Ahsoka Tano Makes When Dealing With Republic Officials. Almost unanimously, the face she makes when Wilhuff Tarkin turns away from her are voted as #1.
There’s also entire sites dedicated to gossiping about the love lives of the Jedi. The HoloNet EXPLODES when Obi-Wan and Anakin are caught on mic making suggestive comments after their fight, because everyone thought FOR SURE Skywalker was involved with Senator Amidala, have you SEEN the way he makes cow eyes at her? There are threads and threads of HA AH VINDICATION!!! from Obikin shippers and NO WAY THIS IS JUST PART OF A THREESOME shippers.
(Everyone, please forgive me this enormous reblog. I think you all understand I have no choice.)
So, basically this is what’s going to foil Palpatine’s plans, isn’t it? He is kicking himself, because he actually urged the Jedi to do the documentary series in the first place, thinking that they’d come off as totally dogmatic, dispassionate weirdos and the Republic would be turned off, making it easier for him to push his “The Jedi Are Evil” spiel later.
Instead, as the series wears on, everyone finds them oddly charming, and is overwhelmed by how hard they work and the good they do. There’s all kinds of forums set up for the inevitable Jedi Order Fandom as people nitpick every detail the show reveals. The gossip is out of control. Ahsoka can’t go anywhere without an interviewer asking her about the state of her “dads”’ relationship. Padme is hounded by the tabloids every time someone thinks they saw her out with Anakin somewhere (and OMG IS THAT A BABY BUMP??! WHAT IS OBI-WAN GONNA THINK?! Wait, is OBI-WAN the father???!). Hondo Ohnaka, of course, uses this as a chance to make some money, and is constantly trying to sell outlandish stories about his “friends” the Jedi to the tabloids.
A couple of systems start petty disputes with each other just to get a Jedi and some clones to visit, and they start placing requests (”Can you guys send Luminara? We LOVE her, OMG. Also is Fives available?”) Even Yoda, who was hesitant to even participate, becomes somewhat beloved in his own right as the series’ grumpy, long-suffering grandpa, once viewers see how much insanity the poor guy’s been living with for hundreds of years.
omfg yes I need this so BAD.
i feel like the turning point in the documentary would be ‘meeting the initiates’ so to speak
like, all these little tiny cute pronto-jedi, being trained specifically for the war-zone. maybe 5, or 9 or 13 years old and already fluent in the clone’s hand signals (and most are learning mando on the side)- this is before the documentary maker get it. this is still an exposé, not a love letter
(the voice-over script, pre-written, says something like this: look at these children look how these children are being raised for war.)
well, the kids are adorable and tiny and sometimes ferocious. all expected that. what they didn’t expect are the visitors
Skywalker suddenly sits up from under a pile of blankets and 8 yr olds because that is not how that happens initiates, who told you that story and the resulting wrestling match takes up the rest of the hour; Kenobi spends his two hours of leave chasing toddlers and changing diapers; Ashoka talks the camera men into babysitting when she wants an hour with her friend i haven’t seen her in months, please?; a constant rotation of clones with the children in the mess, in the dorms, in the gardens and meditation rooms, healing wards with missing limbs and they all want to talk about their jedi- my jedi saved this planet, they stopped this battle, they negotiated terms and they got me home
my jedi, they saved my life; don’t you want to know how?
and well, the documentary makers are filming the initiates, and (between a dozen classes and katas and meditation and play-fights and gardening) the initiates sit down and listen
of course, that could still be spun. the youngest jedi, brainwashed and trained for battle, clones filling their heads with glory and honor but-
the oldest initiates, 14 years old, spend long days talking to their docent, the clones, the visiting jedi and even documentary staff and begin choose. Jora leaves for agri-corps because the lower levels need supplies and someone to build gardens. Noma leaves the Jedi for the Senate diplomatic corps, because her talents lie in diplomacy but not weaponry. the councilors assure her that she’ll be welcome her back, when the war is over, if she wants to return. Ana’kora decides it’s their duty ( i don’t have to, they say, fur bristling, Master Bonara tells us all Paths serve in the Force. but im the best in my ‘saber class and the clones need jedi too).
a. So Obi Wan Kenobi basically ends up going, “NOPE. FUCK THIS NOISE.” and decides to raise baby Luke Skywalker himself.
(He’s not a true Jedi anymore; not when he can see all the mistakes he’s made with Anakin in full, excruciating detail. Not when those closely held values of detachment and denial of emotions have led to fire and death and grief and…
No. He will not turn. He might not be a perfect Jedi, but he won’t turn to the Dark Side.)
b. So he loves Luke with all his heart and baby Luke is basically the teeniest, most adorable ball of sunshine and light and his smiles are a balm on Obi Wan’s broken heart.
c. Also. Obi-Wan joins the Rebellion. Because hope doesn’t just lie in Jedi and the Light Side of the Force. Hope lies in the people who are willing to live and die for their freedom, who are there to resist the Empire and its lies.
d. Eventually, Obi-Wan finds Rex and Ahsoka and of course, that means baby Luke has more family members who will love him. Maybe he’s not growing up as royalty the way Leia is, but he is equally treasured and precious to Uncle Rex and Aunt ‘Soka.
(Except Luke calls her Snips – just out of the blue – even though Obi Wan has never told him about this nickname and he doesn’t understand why Aunt ‘Soka suddenly catches him up in her arms and holds him tight tight tight. He thinks he’s made her sad but Aunt ‘Soka tells him she can be his Aunt Snips and thus, Aunt Snips she became.)
e. Obi Wan does not want to put the burden of stopping Vader on Luke’s shoulders. It is monstrously unfair and neither Luke nor Leia should be burdened with the task of repairing their father’s mistakes. This was Obi-Wan’s failure and it is his job to make it right.
f. Vader chases after Obi-Wan’s ghost in various Rebel skirmishes – Jedi who mysteriously disappear and escape his finest soldiers,. Imperial shipyards being sabotaged, the best scientists of the Empire making successful defections. He is always just one step behind, just one moment too late. Vader’s rage knows no bounds.
(Vader never sees or hears about the child in Obi-Wan’s care. His heart has already been buried in the royal tombs of Naboo, where Padme Amidala lies in her forever sleep.)
g. There is a holo of little Luke and little Jyn Erso playing together. Jyn has not smiled in months as her father and mother have desperately tried to flee the Empire, so that they would not be forced to keep working on its latest monstrosity. It is Luke who has made her laugh again for the first time as they ran and chased each other.
h. Luke’s first friend, first crush and his idol is the dashing Cassian Andor.
i. Obi Wan finds healing and a new outlook/philosophy on the Force when he becomes friends with Chirrut Imwe and Baze Malbus. He and Luke make the pilgrimage to the Holy City of Jeddah and while Luke is too young to understand, the ruins of its ancient temple make the child “feel good.” For Obi-Wan, it is a peace he’s not felt in years.
j. Some things are still meant to happen. Obi-Wan and Vader clash over the years but each duel is inconclusive and both men walk away alive. It takes years for the Rebel Alliance to gain steam. Galen Erso still falls into the hands of the Empire. The pilot Bodhi Rook still defects to the Rebels. Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor still lead a desperate group to Shariff to retrieve the Death Star plans.
k. The difference is that Luke Skywalker defies his somewhat overprotective Uncle Ben, having stolen a ship to Shariff to rescue all of his friends. They barely make it off planet as the Death Star blows up its Imperial base, but Luke’s gotten to be a very good pilot and will spend his downtime happily chatting away with Bodhi Rook.
l. Baze spends a few minutes yelling at Chirrut for having the “suicidal tendencies of an Alderaanian lemmingray” before kissing him stupid and it is the first good laugh that Rogue One has, even as they are all safe and sound and alive.
m. Luke grins even though he knows he’s in deep trouble with Uncle Ben. There is a transmission from him – Darth Vader is now in hot pursuit of those lost plans and he is chasing after the Tantive IV. They will all rendezvous with Princess Leia on Tatooine.
It begins. A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
I’m just imaging an AU where Padme’s pregnancy didn’t have to be a secret and Anakin is trying to pick out names for the baby so he asks his men for ideas, and the clones, of course, throw out names like
“Zapper!”
“Sling!”
“Bomber!”
“Kickback!”
Anakin is internally screaming, but he doesn’t want to insult them by saying those are terrible names so he’s just like, “…thanks, guys.”
even better is if after the kids are born, there are still clones around for security and such and when they’re old enough to talk they know they were given names by their parents, but clones see those names as like. your technical/official ID. not as your actual personal name. so they talk to these little kids who of course love preposterous names and that’s how leia is also named POWERFIST
I’ve reblogged this before but imagine Luke being dubbed “Cinnamon Roll” by the clones
Powerfist and Cinnamon Roll Skywalker. Deal.
OH MY GOD so i was just gonna tagspiral about this but I have Too Many Thoughts so i’m gonna actually write real text for once
So: here we have Powerfist Leia Skywalker and Cinnamon Roll Luke Skywalker. They probably spend a lot of time with the clones, right? Because if Padme and Anakin aren’t in a Secret Relationship then Anakin probably doesn’t fall, so the war doesn’t end the way it does in canon – actually, shit, I forgot about 66. So let’s say Palps tries to recruit Anakin anyway because he’s super-powerful and Palps wants that on his side, but Anakin betrays him to the Council and Order 66 doesn’t happen.
But just because Palpatine tripped and fell into about a dozen lightsabers on his way to his jail cell doesn’t mean the war’s over. The Separatists are fucked, they can’t exactly claim that Sidious made them do it, so they’re going to try their hardest not to lose. So Anakin’s still spending a lot of time out in the field, and Padme’s still got Senate stuff to do. And they probably both already had serious business security details, since somebody needs to be around whenever Anakin decides to do something really fucking stupid without backup (he usually manages without backup, but Obi-Wan, Padme and every clone friend of Anakin’s agree that they’d rather have someone on him anyway), and Padme’s a significant target for the Separatists because a) she’s pretty well-connected in the Senate and b) Palps was hoping he could kill her off to get Anakin to fall. Which would’ve ended pretty badly for him but Palpatine clearly doesn’t understand love so he wouldn’t have realised that.
SO. Anakin gets called off to spearhead some campaign somewhere, Padme has to go to the Senate, and who’s left to look after Powerfist and Cinnamon Roll? (Padme finds these names hilarious.) It’s the clones.
“Okay,” Rex says, no longer quite so angry about being grounded while his blaster wound heals. “Watch carefully. This is how you hold a blaster, okay?”
Luke and Leia are fascinated.
Padme, who entered politics at a frankly ridiculous age and was embroiled in her first war at the age of fourteen, isn’t all that upset when she finds out. Okay, she’d prefer it if the weaponry lessons waited until the kids were older, but considering who their parents are, they’re pretty tempting kidnap targets so she’d rather they knew how to look after themselves. And they’re so cute doing their unarmed combat lessons!
Anakin – Anakin is very protective of his tiny children. HE’S SEEN SOME SHITTY STUFF IN THE GALAXY, OKAY, HE JUST WANTS TO WRAP THEM IN COTTON WOOL AND HIDE THEM SOMEWHERE UNTIL THEY’RE EIGHTEEN. He is not impressed when he finds out. Every stupid, dangerous thing he ever did as a child is running through his head on a loop. He did so many stupid things.
“Not that many,” Padme says, patting his shoulder.
“Pod races,” Anakin says hoarsely. “Blowing up Trade Federation droid ships. Racing speeders. Sticking my hands into droid innards.”
“That isn’t that dangerous,” Padme says, frowning.
“What if I’d electrocuted myself?” Anakin demands. “I could have died so many ways, Padme, why did I pass this on to my children, oh god.”
Padme looks over at Rex for support.
“He’s never told you any of the really wild war stories, has he,” Rex says, deadpan. “They’re too short to fly fighters, but we can start them on acrobatics soon, they’ll have an easier time if they’ve already had practice not throwing up the first time one of them decides to spin the ship they’re flying.”
“I’ll take that into consideration,” Padme says, wondering what Anakin’s stories are if they aren’t the wild ones.
Somewhere, Obi-Wan Kenobi just broke a rib laughing.
It’s canon (or was) that as a child Leia had a fluorescent pink alien kitten-type animal named All-Terrain Attack Vehicle, so I can see her being totally on board with the awesome names.
Now consider: regular OT universe, lots of the clones went AWOL after Order 66 and many of them found their way into the Rebellion. The Rebellion was thus influenced by their culture, including this habit of giving out names like this.
Clones around Leia Organa when she’s growing up.
Clones teaching her to shoot, to fight, to fall, to fly. One of them finds her crying over some momentary childhood upsetness at age five and cheers her up by teaching her to hold a blaster. And then to shoot it. And then to hit what she’s aiming at.
At six, she gets into her first fistfight with another child, a spoiled brat of Alderaan’s nobility, and comes out of it with a bloody nose and a couple broken knickles because she doesn’t know how to punch correctly. Bail gives her a scathing lecture on deportment and courtesy and keeping her temper and how a princess must behave, given edge with his own terror that she’s taking after her other father. The clone who finds her, sulking in the mechanics bay, stung and furious, teaches her how to fight.
At eight, she wants to learn to fly, and Bail, visions of Anakin dancing in his head, dissuades her. It’s the most natural thing in the world to go to the clones and ask to be taught.
At ten she announces that she doesn’t want to go into politics, she wants to be a clone. When her mother points out, gently, that she is the Crown Princess and has responsibilities, she suggests they find girls who look like her to be the Princess for her when she’s busy. She has no idea why both her parents go white at the suggestion.
At eleven, fresh out of another fight–she wants to go help the Rebellion directly, she wants to fight, she wants to go places, be out in the thick of things, and her parents want her to study and do princess things, they want to keep her safe–she goes to the clones with several years of pent-up questions.
The clones are ones who spent years fighting beside Anakin Skywalker, and almost as much time spent running interference for, and pretending not to know about, Anakin’s secret relationship with Padmé Amidala. They didn’t know she was pregnant, but between the piloting skills and the temper and the recklessness and the elder Organas’ reaction to her decoy idea, they can guess.
One of them brings out a medkit and they run a genetic test on a drop of Leia’s blood. They’ve seen the readout of Anakin’s displayed so many times they’ve practically committed it to memory, and the relationship is obvious even to those not medic-trained. Now Leia has a second set of parents, and a host of stories about them, and the personal loyalty of every clone trooper in the Rebellion–General Skywalker’s daughter.
When she’s twelve, a thought occurs to her, and it’s the clones, not her parents, that she asks, “if my father was a Jedi, am I Force-sensitive too?”
Some clone out working support for the Rebellion’s secret operatives gets in touch with Fulcrum for her.
A couple days after Leia’s thirteenth birthday, Ahsoka Tano makes planetfall on Alderaan and is snuck by the clones (”Good to see you, Commander,”) into the mechanics bay to meet Leia. By the time Bail and Breha figure out what Leia’s disappearing for this time, Leia’s already made her first lightsaber and is working on her second.
When Darth Vader tracks down Ahsoka Tano, Ahsoka Tano is not alone.
“Who are you?” he asks, confused by the presence of this fierce child–his grand-apprentice, as it were, glaring at him from behind two lightsabers (blue, for her father, and green, for her teacher) like he’d offended her grievously in the past. (He’s never really met Princess Leia Organa, beyond an occasional presence at the same Imperial event, but she knows quite a lot about him. She isn’t going to run for Senate, but she is going to rebel. She does her research.)
“Killshot,” is what she says.
Darth Vader was Anakin Skywalker, and Anakin Skywalker knows clone naming customs when he hears them. “A Force-sensitive clone?” is what he asks. (The name was gifted to her at nine, when she beat the combat flight simulator on its highest mode eleven times in a row.)
Leia beams. It’s the best compliment anyone could give her. “Yes,” she says, and brings up her blades.
Hmm.
3 part fic/series, depending on how long the bastard would grow.
Freedom
Canon
takes a sharp left turn at the end of The Phantom Menace. Yoda
forbids Obi-Wan from teaching Anakin. Probably uses the guilt stick
and basically leaves Obi-Wan feeling torn even as he goes back to the
Temple, while Anakin is basically adopted by Queen Amidala’s
handmaidens.
Shmi
is swiftly bought and is den mother to said handmaidens (and Queen,
of course), while she and Ani learn all sorts of violent useful life
skills.
Obi-Wan
breaks the rules to occasionally stop by Naboo, and makes sure Anakin
knows enough basics as to not blow up half of Naboo with the Force –
both of them remain awkward, but they’re trying, and over the next
decade they settle into a reasonable friendship. Anakin sends
increasingly ridiculous birthday presents over the years – not
actually on Obi-Wan’s birthday, since he has no idea when that is,
but it’s the same day every year – while Obi-Wan sends various
souvenirs and ridiculous anecdotes from his missions (he doesn’t
really spend much time in the Temple anymore).
Choice
Anakin’s
the best damn 17 year old pilot you will find anywhere, and he’s
better than a hell of a lot of folks older than him, too. He’s not
quite sure what to do when a rather exasperated bounty hunter
contacts him, because he needs someone as a trainer, and all the
fuckers he’s hired so far can only do a mediocre job and that’s
just not good enough. The pay is good – hells, the pay is
phenomenal – the bounty hunter has an excellent reputation, and the
job looks like an intriguing challenge – something Anakin is often
lacking.
On
the downside, it means going to Kamino for a period of several years,
and he’s to keep hella minimal contact with the outside world.
Anakin
talks it over with his family. They’re supportive, though the lack
of contact thing sounds a little sketchy. Padmé exerts a bit of
influence in her last year as Queen (they all know she’s going to
be Senator next, and look forward to new and interesting times) to
get Anakin a discreet communicator.
Within
3 months, Anakin’s caught between fond fascination for his new
students, and wanting to blow all secrecy to contact Obi-Wan and know
WHY THE FUCK DO THE JEDI HAVE A SLAVE ARMY???
Inevitability
Senator
Amidala, Obi-Wan, and his padawan Ahsoka Tano are rescued on Geonosis
by 200 Jedi – who promptly have to fight off the beginnings of the
Sep droid army.
Thankfully,
almost as soon as the fighting begins a squad of Larties show up,
escorted by several squads of star fighters. In the stands, Dooku is
giving Jango Fett a truly offended glare, only for Jango to grab his
kid and hightail it out of there. Yoda shows up almost 10 minutes
later, with less prepared troops, only to find most of the fighting
is done and most of the Jedi are alive.
In
the center of the arena, one of the star fighters lands – smaller
than the others, a unique design that looks several kinds of
experimental. Artoo warbles something to Padmé that Obi-Wan is
rather sure is jokingly rude, and the canopy pops open to reveal a
face Obi-Wan hasn’t seen in years.
“I
can’t let you two go anywhere together, can I?” Anakin Skywalker
asks, grinning and looking more at home in his own skin than Obi-Wan
has ever seen.
EEEEEE! SO MUCH AWESOME I CAN’T EVEN!!!
I love the idea of Anakin growing up surrounded by a pack of badass women, who teach him everything from the love of a good romantic holofilm to how to break someone’s hand with their pinkie.
Heh, somehow I imagine that when Yoda showed up on Kamino, he got quite the stink eye from Anakin because WHY THE FUCK DO THE JEDI HAVE A SLAVE ARMY?! Methinks there will be quite a few uh, debates between Anakin and quite a number of Jedi Knights/Masters on the subject as the war progresses. And with Anakin constantly pushing and advocating for full rights for the clones, he’ll likely become quite a thorn in the side of the Senate. *smirk*
Heh, love Anakin riding in to save the day and shaking his head because Padmé and Obi-Wan are constantly making messes and this is why we can’t have nice things.
This Anakin is going to drive Palpatine nuts, isn’t he? ;D
Imagine an AU where Luke was a aware of his mother but not his father, so instead of “I want to be a Jedi like my father before me” it was “I want to be a Senator like my mother before me.”
His biggest dream would be to free Tatooine from the control of the Hutts, and to have the planet recognized as independent and worthy of a seat on the Senate (obviously this plan would go kablooee as soon as Palps liquidates the Senate because of the Death Star.)
But imagine a kid Luke learning all he can about politics, a Luke that bravely (but stupidly) goes to the Hutts or the Tusken Raiders to attempt to negotiate with them, and poor Obi-Wan.
Poor, poor Obi-Wan is basically 25 again having to watch over a headstrong young politician.
(Imagine if Luke became part of the Senate somehow, or was at least given a chance to go to Coruscant around before he’s 18 years old. He’d meet Bail, he’d meet Leia, you know he’d give a moving speech in the Senate dome and Vader would be like “Holy shit he reminds me of Padmé”)
(AND OBVIOUSLY OBI-WAN WOULD BE HIS EXASPERATED GUARDIAN THAT HAS LEARNED TO KEEP HIMSELF HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT WITH THE FORCE.)
I loooove this idea. I wish Luke had known more about Padmé anyway, and this is just perfect. On the other hand, Vader would be more than “reminded” of Padmé when he heard Luke’s last name (I’m sure Obi-Wan regrets not making the Lars fam change it in this AU).
So, either they’d have to flee Coruscant almost instantly, with Obi-Wan nagging that he “warned you not to go, but of course no Skywalker has ever listened to me anyway, why did I even expect that this cute kid who looks like he’d never hurt a fly would be different”.
Or Vader tries to tell Luke right at the Senate, but realizes that he has no idea how to do it best – so he just awkwardly says something vague and mysterious and walks away, in need of more time to think about what to say. Luke does seem a bit uncomfortable around him, maybe he should observe his son first and get to know him, in order to figure out how to get him to thaw up…. Meanwhile Obi-Wan is a bundle of nerves, anxiously wondering why Vader hasn’t done anything yet and when he’s going to, because he can’t really have forgotten the name Skywalker completely, right? Bail is trying to help by finding out what Vader is planning, but he fails to get any useful results and definitely nothing that would stop Obi-Wan from panicking. Just weird stalkerish things like “Vader wants to know what Lukes favourite food is, and there’s a rumour that he sent an agent to steal his baby holos.”
And then they all have to work together to rescue Luke when Palpatine makes his carefully plotted move.
OH GOD NO BUT THAT WOULD BE PERFECT. how did the jedi not think of that?
what is anakin’s biggest weakness? attachments.
you know who needs lots of attachment? babies. small children.
anakin should not have been made to study murder: he should have been put in charge of Small Things. He would have bonded with all of them instantly, and it would have given his life Meaning and Purpose.
He’d bond with the kids, but he’d be able to move on because they are Bigger now and they have to go to the Big Kid Class but he still sees them around all the time, and it finally teaches him how to let go of his attachments??? He’d find a kid that he’s particularly fond of and go to Obi-Wan and say “I have found your newest padawan.”
this could have fixed so. many. things. ;_____;
Heh, and Anakin would keep picking Obi-Wan’s padawans for him, and it would be annoying but damn if he wasn’t right every single time.
BUT CAN YOU
JUST IMAGINE HOW ANNOYED PALPATINE WOULD BE his life would be never-ending
string of trying to get a hold of Anakin (I mean, would Anakin give him a time of day if he can spend it with small kids who absolutely adore him instead?)
he keeps
comming over the years, but it’s always like
BEEP
“Anakin, my
boy, we haven’t seen each other in a while—“
“I’m sorry,
Chancellor, now’s not the best time. I’m tutoring a class.”
BEEP
“My dear
boy, I wonder if we could meet for a chat—“
“Well, it
can’t be this week, we’re going to Ilum, but maybe later…”
BEEP
“Anakin,
I’d like to—“
“I’m
terribly sorry, Chancellor,” Obi-Wan Kenobi answers. The apologetic tone might
be just a tad exaggerated. “Anakin is on a trip with younglings, he
must’ve left his comlink behind accidentally.”
BEEP
“You’ve
reached Anakin Skywalker’s private comlink. Leave the message after the tone.”
BEEP
“It’s such
a shame that Council doesn’t consider sending you on this campaign, considering
the lightsaber skills you demonstrated when I was last visiting the Temple,
Anakin.”
“Thank you,
Chancellor, but this is precisely why I need to stay behind. In fact just the
last week, the Masters decided I should take over some advanced lightsaber
classes, considering senior Padawans accompanying their Masters on the frontlines
need the training. I might take the Bear Clan along, make it a learning
opportunity for the young ones—“
Palpatine
closes his eyes slowly. He knows this from experience; Anakin won’t let himself
be budged from the topic of little monsters for at least another half an hour.
BEEP
“Ah,
Chancellor Palpatine. Anakin left his comlink behind again, he’s in class—“
BEEP
“Anakin, I
hoped you—“
“Oh! Chancellor,”
the voice on the other end is distinctly female, and Palpatine recognizes it after
a second. Kenobi’s second Padawan. He barely restrains the urge to gnash his
teeth. “Um, Skyg—I mean, Master Skywalker can’t pick up now. I can tell him you
called? It’s just that he was helping me with forms, and he forgot his comlink,
and he’s probably already in crèche…”
BEEP
Then there’s
that one time when an actual youngling picks up the call. The less said about his
reaction to that incident, the better.
BEEP
“—fortunately,
they were all right in the end. But in my opinion, this should never happened
in the first place, Chancellor.”
Palpatine
snaps awake. Was that… was that anger? Finally, the hours of listening to
worthless drivel about Jedi younglings paid off.
“My boy, I
absolutely agree,” he begins slyly, but before he can continue, Anakin steamrolls
on.
“I think Jedi
Order is too deeply entwined in the conflict! I honestly don’t think even
senior Padawans should be anywhere near battles, not to mention in command of
GAR, but now even younglings are acceptable targets for Separatists and pirates!
Master Yoda and I were talking about this lately, and—“
Palpatine
swallows a scream of rage with some difficulty.
BEEP
“Forgot his
comlink again, Master Skywalker has. With younglings, he is.”
Slaughtering
younglings moved to the top on the list of things Darth Sidious will do after
taking over galaxy some time ago.
That is what the Council would have done if they were smart. Seriously. Here’s Yoda saying Anakin should not be taught because he senses too much fear in him, and it’s fear for the people he cares about, something everyone present realizes fully because when it comes to his own safety, Anakin couldn’t be more reckless.
Then Qui Gon announces he’s training him anyway, someone points out he might fulfill the prophecy and bring balance to the Force, and nobody, NOBODY, thinks that MAYBE giving him a job that’s more about caring than killing might be an idea. Nope. Okay, we’re training him, let’s foster the loose canon aspect of his personalities, make him a war general and keep pushing him into vicious battles to the death. Sounds perfect for his mental health.
The Jedi Council were a bunch of idiots with their head so far up their own asses even a lightsaber shoved up there to the hilt would not provide them enough light to see further than their own noses.
I think I got lost somewhere in this metaphor. You get the point.
After ten years, Palpatine loses his patience and decides to change his plans. Fuck it, Skywalker has kids now–two adorable little moppets who can be captured, broken, and twisted into twin powerhouses of the Dark Side. Torture one while the other watches, convince them Daddy doesn’t love them, easy-peasy.
Unfortunately, he fails to reckon with the fact that not only is he going up against Anakin Fucking Skywalker, but that Anakin Fucking Skywalker is the surrogate father/big brother/best friend/cool teacher of ninety percent of the current Padawans and young Knights in the Order. And while the Council might make decisions and talk about the Will of the Force and stuff, those Padawans and Knights only care about the fact that the man who scared away the monsters under the bed–made it feel less lonely and frightening to be away from home when they were small–is now hurting and scared for his own children.
Just like Palpatine always wanted, Anakin ends up leading an army. An army of young Jedi who smash the ever-loving shit out of everything “Darth Sidious” can throw at them, rescue the terrified Skywalker twins, and drag the Chancellor hisownself before the Senate with conclusive proof that he’s an evil Dark-Side-wielding bastard who kidnaps adorable kids.
Attachments FTW.
God, YES
Luke and Leia would have grown up with 500 brothers and sisters of assorted species. Whenever you see Anakin there are 10 kids with him, occasionally actively hanging off of his arms or riding on his shoulders. (Anakin looks downright gleeful about this). Padme thinks it’s the most adorable thing ever.
20 years later by the time “A New Hope” would have begun, Anakin is 45. Padme is the new Chancellor. Luke and Leia are finishing their own Jedi training. 90% of the current young Jedi order calls Anakin ‘Dad’. He has amassed the galaxy’s largest collection of refrigerator art. After that incident with Chancellor Palpatine 15 years back, Yoda was forced to admit to Qui Gon’s very smug force-ghost that he was right. Everything is right with the galaxy.
I am so sorry this ate my brain and then things ran away from me. I AM SORRY.
So. Anakin leads an army to retrieve his children and it’s this twisted version of everything Sidious ever wanted and he’s prepared for that.
But Sidious always underestimates how love changes things. And while he’s prepared to fight Anakin’s devoted army of former crechelings, he underestimates how that’s changed the rest of the Order.
Because Obi-Wan is quieter about whom and how he loves but doesn’t make it any less strong. When Obi-Wan loves someone it is unconditional and unyielding and he has never loved anyone as much as he loves Anakin Skywalker. Then the twins are born and Anakin is bashfully about it but he’s not ashamed and of course Obi-Wan has to know, he can’t imagine Obi-Wan not knowing his children (Obi-Wan totally already knows, he has been rolling his eyes about this for months and waiting for Anakin to come to him so he doesn’t spook him or for Padme to knock some freaking sense into him, which she does, because not-dying Padme is scary post-pregnancy and not willing to deal with the stupid anymore) and then Padme hands him Leia and everything stutters to a halt for a moment because oh, oh no, Anakin has found him another padawan.
There is no one Obi-Wan will ever love as fiercely as Anakin, except for Anakin’s children, who may as well be his own children. And he knows from the moment he first holds her that Leia will be the greatest Jedi he ever has a hand in raising.
(It becomes a joke among the Knights and Masters at the temple after the Skywalker twins arrive. If you even think that you might like to take Leia as your padawan, you can feel Obi-Wan glare at you no matter where he is in the galaxy.)
And when Sidious kidnaps Anakin’s children – his future padawan – Obi-Wan is the only Jedi in the galaxy who can put a hand on Anakin’s shoulder and say we need a distraction to do this safely, trust me to bring them home for you. Anakin will lead the frontal assault and tear down all of Sidious’ carefully constructed plans. Obi-Wan will sneak in and safeguard their children and bring them home.
That’s the plan, anyway.
Here’s what none of them expected:
When Luke Skywalker came screaming and red-faced into the world, an ancient, meddling, troll of a Jedi Master who had vowed never to take another padawan felt it and thought: fuck.
Whereas Leia is, even as a child, stubborn and willful and silk hiding steel, Luke is twin balls of sunshine. Raised among Jedi, he is so bright a presence it hurts. Even raised among Jedi, he wears his heart on his sleeve and has absolutely no guile and he pouts when the cafeteria doesn’t serve his favourite dessert but will cheerfully walk across the room and give it to someone else if he senses that person is still hungry. The first time Luke sees Yoda he stares at him, all big blue eyes and pudgy baby hands, then grabs his ears and won’t let go. Everyone is horrified. Yoda harrumphs at him and tell him, “Patience, young one.” He toddles after Yoda from the time he can crawl and no matter how grouchy Yoda seems he never actively dissuades him from it.
After the twins enter the temple, Anakin always knows not to worry if Luke is missing from the crèche. Yoda will escort him back sooner or later.
(He’s always much more worried when Leia disappears because, yes, Obi-Wan will bring her back but they’ll have always gotten into trouble in the meantime.)
Yoda does not confront Darth Sidious. Yoda does not lose his duel with the Sith lord and become diminished because of it. Yoda is with Obi-Wan, sneaking into his stronghold to see the twins safe. Yoda cannot go Sith hunting when Luke is in pain and gently clinging to him, his arms around his neck, bruised and bleeding and smiled at Yoda when he saw him because Luke knew he would come.
(Sidious cannot win, with them. Leia would risk her home being obliterated rather than betray her righteous cause. Luke would willingly walk into flames rather than give up on those he loves. It hurts, oh it hurts, to see the other in pain, but Leia can watch Luke being hurt and know there are more important things at stake than the two of them and Luke can watch Leia being hurt and trust that they will be saved.)
Sidious escapes but his Empire falls before it solidifies. He will never be as powerful as he needs to be.
(It’s Anakin who notices there is something wrong with the clones. He’s not their General but Obi-Wan is and Obi-Wan is a good general. When Obi-Wan is hurt, they’re all nosey and worried and Anakin – all but glued to his former Master’s bedside when it’s really bad and first and foremost a mechanic – can tell that something is wrong. He’s not always with them so it never becomes familiar, it never becomes normal, and it niggles at the back of his brain until he’s sitting in front of Obi-Wan’s bacta tank – old training bond humming between them because Obi-Wan hates drugs and hates being sedated and he stays quieter and heals faster if Anakin is there to keep him calm – and Rex walks in to check on the General and Anakin turns around to look at him and he sees it.
The Jedi Order quietly deprograms the clone army. They trace the chip back to Palpatine. Padme and Bail Organa and Mon Mothma start quietly amassing information against him and his allies – enough for criminal charges, pushing Sidious to show his hand and try to kidnap the twins.)
Obi-Wan takes Leia as his Padawan the second she’s old enough for it to be proper. They are scarily well matched. If he was the Jedi’s best hope to keep planets from succeeding during the war, together they can talk whole systems into rejoining the rebuilding Republic.
Yoda leaves Luke in the crèche until the day before his thirteenth birthday. Everyone is worried except Luke (who knows he is meant to be a Jedi and knows Master Yoda is meant to teach him and trusts this, since he was raised in the Temple. It’s easier to have faith when you’ve always had it and it’s never been wrong). Fourteen Jedi have tried to ask him to be their apprentice. Yoda bashed twelve of them over the head with his stick before they could and Luke turned two down himself, the last three days before his birthday. He spends his last day as a twelve-year old following his dad around, both of them a little clingier than usual. Anakin has always thought that Yoda intended to take Luke as his Padawan but he’s literally hours from aging out and he’s seriously considering comming Ashoka and begging her to come act as backup, when Luke suddenly hugs Anakin hard and quick and Anakin looks over and sees Yoda waiting in the doorway.
Anakin hugs Luke back very, very tightly and then he lets him go. Luke already has his few things packed and waiting. Yoda harrumphs at him. “Ready, you are, padawan mine?”
Luke’s smile is blinding. “Yes, Master.”
Leia talks star systems into rejoining the Republic. Luke returns the Fallen to the Jedi. Dooku is the first and most fleeting (having not been killed by Anakin) – having been betrayed and split from Sidious – Luke finds him when he’s dying and gets Yoda to him in time for him to pass them information on Sidious’ new schemes and die a Jedi, with his old master at his side. There are others, after that, who Fell during the war and didn’t think they could ever return from it. Luke, bright and shiny and full of faith, sees them, thinks, I can fix this, and brings them home one by one.
After the second Return, which is unavoidably public, Leia and Obi-Wan look at each other and enlist everyone they can to begin working to make Luke the new poster boy for the Order. Luke is intensely embarrassed by this and a bit bumbling and shy about it, which just makes it more attractive to everyone. It also keeps the spotlight well away from their rebuilding efforts, which are way easier when there’s less press exposure.
Sidious, who would still like to capture and corrupt the twins, eventually stops trying with Luke because there’s only a 50/50 anyone he sends after him will come back and between years of Yoda’s training (ie dodging his stick), Luke’s innate Force sense and his dumb luck he’s practically impossible to kill.
(Sidious dies ignobly at the hands of a new apprentice, one of the Fallen who Luke has been trying to save. His defeat was always going to be someone else’s redemption.)
You people need to tag me when you write, I keep missing good stuff like above!
Oh GOSH!
Everyone predicted Leia would eventually leave the order to follow in her mother’s footsteps but the SCANDAL that erupted when she married a former smuggler had the gossip rags going for years. Because circumstances sometimes change, but the Force will always find a way for certain absolutes. They have one son, and adopt several wayward young people along the way.
Anakin is delighted by his grandson for all that he’s sad that he couldn’t share him with Obi-Wan, who passed just before he was born. Ben would follow his grandfather around like a baby duck and hated sharing him with the other younglings. He’d get so angry when he felt Anakin was giving the other children more attention than him. Anakin would gently explain that he couldn’t play favorites, but Ben would still react with anger and find a place to pout alone.
He is five when he finds a nice secluded spot in the gardens, barely visible from the main path. A fountain sits in the center and Ben lets out his frustration by throwing small stones into it. He doesn’t notice Mace until he sits down right next to him and says “I like to come here too, when I’m angry.”
Ben is startled at first. Though he’s still small and largely untrained, no one has ever really snuck up on him before. He’s also never heard a master admit to being angry before. When questioned, Mace answers that everyone gets angry sometimes. The Jedi way isn’t the eradication of emotion, but the control of it. He brings Ben back to Anakin, who apologizes to the aging master for troubling him, but Mace dismisses the apology and tells him it was no trouble at all. Anakin glances sideways at Mace; they don’t always agree on things, but he can’t help but smile. It has been decades since Master Windu last took a padawan.
As Ben grows older he excels in his lessons. He’s smart, persistent, and so, so powerful in the Force. He’s the very top of his class, and the only one who has yet to be chosen by a master. He still goes to the fountain when he finds himself at war with his emotions. Usually he meditates alone for a while until he is able to calm down, but sometimes, when he feels particularly lost, Master Windu will show up. At these times Ben will often ask for advice, but sometimes they will simply sit together in silence.
Ben is desperate the day before he turns 13. He doesn’t understand how he could work so hard and not be noticed by a single master in the entire temple (which isn’t true, nearly everyone knows Ben Solo and can feel the pull of the Force around him. They also know they were not meant to guide him). He almost, almost comms his uncle and begs to take him as his padawan, but ultimately doesn’t because he knows how Luke follows the Force and if he were going to take him, he would have a long time ago. (Luke is busy anyway; a small girl in the outer rim is about to turn 3.)
He goes out to the fountain to watch the sun set. The next day he’ll go before the Council of Reassignment to be placed into a division of the Jedi Service Corps. He supposes it wouldn’t be so bad to be placed into the Exploration Corps, he’d see much of the galaxy that way. He sits and plans and wills himself to not cry. After all, the Jedi way isn’t the eradication of emotion, but the mastery of it.
Master Windu is still able to sneak up on him even though he’s doing so with a cane these days. Ben once held the hope that maybe the old master would take him as a padawan, but everyone knows Mace doesn’t take padawans anymore. His work on the Council is too important and he can’t give his precious time to a student, no matter what sort of strange bond has formed between them over the years. They sit for a moment before Ben breaks the silence. “What do you think my chances are of being assigned to the Exploration Corps?”
Mace seems to ponder the question for a moment. “Your scores in xenolinguistics is very high. You’ve also done very well in your survival field tests. You’d be a credit to the ExplorCorps.” He pauses for a moment. “Is that what you want to to do?”
Ben doesn’t give a straight answer, “It’s an honor,” he swallows the lump in his throat, “to be a part of the Service Corps.”
Mace sighs. “For someone who feels the Force so acutely, you have so little faith in it.” Ben winces. “Your patience leaves a lot to be desired. And you never really let go of anything.”
Ben is shaking. Of course. It doesn’t matter how well he does in his studies when the fundamentals of the ways of the Force is where he has always failed. He could never be a true Jedi. But it feels like the rawest betrayal when Mace says, “You can’t go into the Exploration Corps, Ben. Being left to drift through the galaxy unguided would be disastrous for you. You’d be very susceptible to the Dark Side if left alone.”
Ben’s eyes feel wet. He knows that too, though he’s never confessed to any of the masters about it. He was stupid to think he could hide it, though. The masters probably felt the Dark Side around him and rejected him outright. A bitter voice inside him resents them for dragging it out for so long.
Then he feels a warm hand on his shoulder. “I’m not afraid of the Dark, Ben. And you shouldn’t be either.” In spite of Master Windu’s gentle tone, Ben can’t bare to look at him. “Self mastery is a life long pursuit that no one ever really accomplishes. You have to take it day by day, even I’m still learning. You have everything you need, you just have to remember that it is a choice you must make and commit to every day.”
Ben sniffs. “Yes, Master.” But when Ben looks up at Mace, he doesn’t see the cold face of a stern teacher or the disappointment of an unsatisfied elder. He doesn’t even see the sympathy that everyone has been directing towards him as he got closer and closer to his 13th birthday. Instead there is warmth and fondness.
“However,” he continues, “it’s not a path you need to travel alone. At least not at first… if you’ll have me as your master.”
Ben lunges at Mace and hugs him tight. “Do you really mean it?”
Mace huffs a short laugh and ruffles the boy’s hair. “I’m too old to say things I don’t mean.” He pulls away. “But Ben, are you sure? I’m not the easier teacher.”
Finally able to hope again, Ben gives his master (his master!) a grin. “I’m not the easiest student!”
Mace gives an actual laugh at that. “Good!” He pulls himself up. “Alright, lets go make it official. I know that grand-daddy of yours is dying to start gloating like the gossiping old hen he is.”
Modern Skywalker Adventure – Anakin as a Gangster AU
Anakin goes from an undercover cop with the force to succumbing to his dark side and turning into the newest lieutenant of the growing underworld empire.
Featuring his district attorney wife, Padme, his ex-partner from the force, Ben and the crooked Mayor of Coruscant City, Palpatine.
Fairytale AU in which Princess Padme has been kidnapped by a dragon and Chancellor Palpatine (her father’s top adviser) hires Anakin, the best knight in all the land, to go rescue her. So Anakin travels into the far off mountains with his sword and shield and his loyal warhorse Artoo. It takes days but he finally locates the dragon’s lair.
Only, when he bravely challenges the dragon and demands that it release the princess, Padme strides up with a sword in hand and is like “What the fuck are you doing? Obi-Wan is a dear friend of mine. How dare you come here. All of you knights are the same! You’re all boneheaded idiots who just don’t know when to leave well enough alone!”
And Anakin’s just bewildered because what? Didn’t she want to be rescued from the dragon? But first – “Obi-Wan? Who’s that?”
“Me,” a deep voice announces from Anakin’s right. A puff of hot air is blown out right into his face as a dragon – terrifyingly huge but magnificently golden with a reddish hue to its scales – steps out of the shadows.
Anakin gapes. “You can talk!”
The dragon tips its head down at him and Anakin swears it’s giving him a very unimpressed, sardonic look. Possibly is rolling its eyes internally. “Yes. I am Obi-Wan. What can I do for you? You’re not here to try to steal my treasures, are you? Because I assure you, I will fight you for them.”
“Treasures?” Anakin asks. He hadn’t heard anything about treasures. He looks at the princess. Is it her? But no, she steps aside just enough for him to get a glimpse of the cave behind her. It’s filled with stacks and stacks of books.
The dragon – Obi-Wan – slides a foreleg out as if to block him from running over there. Not that Anakin was even tempted to. He can’t imagine how he’d carry all of those. Or if it would even be worth it.
“Yes. My treasure. Some of them have been banned by royal decree in various lands and these are the only copies. If you’ve come to study them, that would be a different matter. But judging by your armor and the sword in your hand, I take it that’s not the case.”
“Uh, no.” Anakin’s head is spinning. “I’m actually here to rescue her.” He gestures at the princess, who hasn’t lowered her sword at all.
She narrows her eyes at him. “Well, as you can see, I’m perfectly fine and in no need of a rescue.”
“Are you sure? The Chancellor seemed to think you were in trouble.”
The princess rolls her eyes. “He tends to overreact. I’m just taking some time off from the court. They’re all idiots, blinded by jewels, obsessed with the latest fashions, and constantly chasing after wealth. It’s tiring.”
“Yes, instead, she likes to come here and paint a great big target on my back,” Obi-Wan says dryly. (Can a dragon be dry? Anakin has no idea. He’s never seen one before this.)
“Hasn’t it worked out fine, though? We managed to talk the others around and send them off on our quests.”
“That’s true enough,” Obi-Wan concedes. “And it’ll quiet down when you go home.” He eyes Anakin thoughtfully. “Well, Sir Knight – pardon, what’s your name?”
“Anakin.”
“Knight Anakin, then. Well, if you’d truly like to go on an epic quest, perhaps you could escort Ahsoka home? She lives in the village down the way but she’s been coming here to learn her letters. Her parents worry if she’s gone for too long and it’s always tremendously difficult to get her to leave when it’s time. Normally, Padme would do it but if you can take her tonight, that’ll save us some time so that we can continue our own research.”
“I, uh, okay?” Anakin says.
So that’s how little Ahsoka gets escorted home by a knight in shining armor. She talks his ear off about Obi-Wan and Padme and how Obi-Wan hasn’t been teaching her just her letters but her numbers too so that when she grows up, she can rely on herself instead of having to get married to some “yucky boy.” Anakin barely keeps himself from snorting at that but he thinks that probably, Obi-Wan’s okay for a dragon and Padme’s probably safe after all. It wouldn’t hurt to hang around for a bit and make sure of that, though.
….anyway, so then he hangs out and falls in love with a dragon and it’s complicated (which basically sums up Anakin’s whole life). I can’t decide whether or not to make it so that Obi-Wan’s actually human and was cursed into a dragon form or to just leave him as a dragon through and through.
Obi-Wan could be a dragon that has the ability to assume human form?
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