Update: Sauron is not afraid of hobbits. He was unaware that hobbits existed up until very recently. he literally did not have time to be afraid of them, they went from a 0 to 100 threat level in twenty seconds. There he was, minding his own business worrying about the usual Elves and Men when suddenly these kids are on his lawn and now he’s dead, like just;
What did— who–
did I just get one-shotted by an infant how is this occurring
Honestly I have to love this whole thought process that the Fellowship must have cultivated in Sauron, like…
“These children have found the Ring! But they’re taking it to the elves, of course. I will simply have to catch them on the way.”
“Well, the elves are still not to be trifled with, it seems. It looks as though they have a group of intrepid heroes, how cute! Wait, who’s leading them? Aw, hell.”
“OKAY! Olorin’s out of the way, and now I can finally kill them all and reclaim the- OH DAMMIT, IT’S IN LOTHLORIEN.”
“Well, okay. They’ve taken it onward. Curunir says one of the halflings is still carrying the ring, so he’s going to capture them and we’ll see how this develops. Thankfully Olorin’s still out of the picture and their little group just shattered into pieces, so that’s one less thing to worry about.”
“Aaaaaand Curunir shat the bed. Excellent. Trees, who would have thought? Okay, so we’re back to plan A: conquer Gondor, because if the Ring’s going to be anywhere, it’ll be there.”
“Wait, who’s on the– Isildur’s WHAT? Ohhhh. Ohohoho. Oh now everything makes sense. Isildur’s Heir is back, and he’s here being all prideful again. That’s fine. Really. I’ll just crush him and his kingdom, and then nobody can stop me!”
“WHAT? FUCKING WHAT? THEY SENT HIM BACK? Ugh, alright, alright, I’m cool, I’m fine. He’s still got that stupid wizard costume on, and I’m still stronger than he ever was. It’s not like he can come toe to toe with me, even if he does have an army behind him. This’ll be fine.”
“They’re… actually marching on the Black Gate? Sweet lord, I didn’t think they’d actually do it! This is perfect, everyone’s right here! Olorin, the human princeling, most of the remaining fighting forces of Men, all I have to do is kill them now and– Wait. Someone just put on the Ring. Someone just– That’s a halfling. They’re inside the mouNTAIN OH GOD NAZGUL GO GO G–”
omg a like…state of civil war under
miriel’s rule + sauron’s regime of influence sounds amazing…..and
slightly….american-ish….like if sauron has less power, but because of
that he also has even more fodder for framing ‘rebellion against the
queen’ as rebellion of ~the people against ~tyranny, if it’s against a
human ruler and not just the distant valar…
Exactly. He can start with spreading rumours like “Ar-Pharazon’s death was just awfully convenient for the Queen wasn’t it”, then complain about how she’s too invested in out-dated traditions to care about the people’s real needs, and also she’s against Melkorism
~religious freedom~
… he has so much ammunition here; there’s a chance for this to end better than canon but I certainly don’t envy Tar-Miriel for being the one who has to work for that, she’ll have to be really good.
And I hate to imagine how much distrust anyone who is even vaguely anti-monarchist will have to face in any Numenorean-influenced realms in the future if Sauron does frame his cause as a revolution against tyranny. Like, make a petition for more involvement of common people in the government and suddenly everyone thinks you’re a devil worshipper.
I need a Numenor AU in which Ar-Pharazon dies, whether because of an accident or an “accident”, and Tar-Miriel finally becomes Queen for real.
Which is good for the Faithful, but everything can still go horribly wrong Sauron is already there and a Respected Advisor with enough followers to start a civil war if she attempts to arrest or exile him.
I think Tar-Miriel would try to avoid a war if at all possible, but obviously getting rid of Sauron is still a necessity for her – what she needs is more supporters and a good plan that he either won’t immediately see coming or won’t be able to counteract and look I’ve found her first major problem.
It would start with a tense political situation that is really uncomfortable for both sides. Tar-Miriel has more power than ever before but not quite enough to do what she really wants, while Sauron has to adjust his plans to accommodate for losing the monarch’s support. Since the chance of convincing Miriel to cooperate with him is somewhere between minuscule and none (depends on which version of Miriel this is), he will have to turn to the nobility and possibly the common people. Hopefully, whatever he does won’t forever discredit all future reformers, democrats, socialists, communists and/or revolutionaries of Middle-Earth.
I believe a civil war will happen eventually anyway, the question is when and how it starts. Also, Sauron and the former King’s Men probably won’t manage to organize an attack on Aman, at least not unless they win the civil war without major losses. That means the Valar will have to handle the situation somehow without asking Eru to help, so there’s a good chance Numenor won’t drown (yet). Unless of course Miriel’s side starts losing and she decides to evacuate to Middle-Earth or something. Although I actually want her to win. I’m not sure what kind of effect Numenor’s continued existence might have on 3rd Age events, though.
Just in case you thought I was kidding – here’s the heraldry for the Mordor Special Mission Flying Corps, drawn by Tolkien himself.
“It apparently was a badge that applied to Sauron’s air-borne troops, probably including the later incarnations of the Nazgûl and, perhaps, any remaining dragons under Sauron’s command. The “wings” at the side of the emblem are given a feather-like texture, which might indicate that they were originally real wings. A mystifying scribble, saying “Seen from below”, actually hints that the emblem portrays one of Sauron’s flying creatures, and the small “horns” indicated between the wings and the body of the creature could then be the feet of someone riding the beast. But it is clear that if so, the portrait must be extremely stylized. On the wings can be seen the image of Sauron’s eye, multiplied like the eyes on peacock’s wings.” [x]
This is so undeniably cool. All I can imagine now is this Nazgul Flying Corps in WW2 outfit.
Celebrimbor: I FUCKED UP I FUCKED UP I FUCKED UP
Gil-Galad: ???
Celebrimbor: I FUCKED. UP
Galadriel: …
Celebrimbor: AAAAAAAaaaaaAaaa
Elrond: could you be more specific?
Gil-Galad: deep breaths
Celebrimbor: DEEP BREATHING CANT SAVE ME NOW
Galadriel: it’s ok, whatever it is that you did it can’t possibly be a worse fuck-up than when Manwe released Melkor from prison so you’re still doing better than that guy
Celebrimbor: ………….
Celebrimbor: im so fucking sorry
Galadriel: so its on that scale huh?
Celebrimbor: end me
Celebrimbor: actually, i don’t think you’ll have to end me, i think someone else will be taking care of that shortly
Gil-Galad: are you in danger???
Elrond: where are you? we’re on our way
Celebrimbor: Nonoo dont look for me you idiots run!!! fuck
Galdriel: …..this is about your creepy boyfriend isnt it
Celebrimbor: HOW COULD I BE SO BLIND
Galadriel: …fuck
Galadriel: I FUCKING KNEW IT I TOLD YOU YOU IMBECILE I TOLD ALL OF YOU
Gil-Galad: can everyone please calm down and explain to me whats going on
Galadriel: hes been fucking some kind of demon is whats going on
Celebrimbor: ITS NOT LIKE THAT
Elrond: so on a scale of one to your grandfather how badly have you fucked up, and what can we do to fix it
Celebrimbor: I’m so, so sorry. I love you all. Please tell Narvi I’m sorry. Galadriel I should have listened.
Celebrimbor: I’m gonna go make this right
Elrond: Just tell us where you are
Elrond: we can help
Elrond: just don’t do anything stupid
~15 minutes later
Gil-Galad: …so I just tried calling him like 3 times and hes not picking up
Galadriel: OH MY GOD
Celebrimbor: hey everyone, just fyi, I’m definitely not dead. Where did you all say you were again?
Elrond: who the fuck is this, what the fuck have you done with Celebrimbor, and why the fuck do you have his phone?
Galadriel: if this is who I think it is, I swear to god
Gil-Galad: elrond, since when do you use that kind of language?
Elrond: since i was raised by feanorians and that’s not really relevant rn gil
Celebrimbor: It’s me, guys
Celebrimbor: Why are you all acting so strange?
Celebrimbor: Pretty hurtful after I gave you those rings, just saying
Galadriel: OH MY FUCKING GOD
~groupme deactivated~
The cover that I did for @houseofmelkor‘s fantastic Dark Lords magazine featuring Sauron in his fair form when he was a high priest in Numenor and influenced the king to build a temple in Morgoth’s name and have sacrifices. (ok so the eye was a bit inaccurate T T ) I have quite a neat process for this because I was practising my greyscale to colour process so if anyone is interested in seeing it let me know?
There are many ways to craft rings (for those of you who can’t shape metal with your mind)!
One simple method is simply to drill a hole in an appropriately sized disc of metal, and mill it out on a lathe until it fits the desired proportions. A bit crude, not much room for artistry, but effective.
Another popular method is to hammer out a strip of metal (yes, for this step and this step only, one might see a smith bent over the anvil with a flatter) and coax it around a die until the ends meet and can be welded together. Welded rings can be very elaborate, set with stones, cut into lovely shapes, but depending on the strength of the bond and the delicacy of the materials, one might sacrifice durability.
And then there is my favorite and arguably the best method: metal casting! First one carves a model of one’s ring out of wax, making sure to leave in spurs as conduits for the wax to flow out of the mold and the metal to flow in. Then one encases the wax ring in molding material, secure within a mother-mold. Heating the mold burns out the wax, leaving a hollow inside mold in the shape of your ring. Then it is only a matter of pouring in the desired metals, letting them cool, and then completing the project by sawing off the spurs, filing down the metal, and adding whatever embellishments the design requires.
Naturally, one finished any fired piece by giving it a good pickling in acid and a high polish! Then you teach your friends the process, adding in a pinch of blood magic and sorcery, and murder them when they use your techniques to thwart your plans!
*cough*
In any case, none of the methods above will look like this:
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