Schlagwort: queue

atropabelladonna21:

“Idril” by Venlian

Idril Celebrindal (“silver-foot”) was the only child of Turgon, whose wife Elenwë died at the Helcaraxë. She was the wife of Tuor, and the mother of Eärendil the Mariner, who later sailed to Valinor and brought about the War of Wrath in which Morgoth was finally defeated. Together with Angrod’s son Orodreth and Curufin’s son Celebrimbor, she was one of the three Noldor in the third generation to come into exile. Idril was loved in secret by her cousin Maeglin, the son of Eöl the Dark Elf and Aredhel, Turgon’s sister, but scorned his advances because of his dark character, as well as the fact that they were too closely related.

which scientist should you fight

geologist: will throw copious amounts of rocks at you. not recommended unless you can also throw equal amounts of rocks back
botanist: knows 1001 ways to poison you. probably shouldn’t fight
zoologist: knows 1001 animals that can kill you. probably shouldn’t fight either
entomologist: spiders. enough said.
physiologist: they know too much about the human body and how to cause optimal pain with minimal damage. not safe.
geneticist: will unleash their army of mutated fruit flies at you. can be either good or bad thing, depending on your preference for flies with legs growing out of their eyes
immunologist: they have perfected the t-cell inspired technique of „death by neglect“. if you fight them you will die in the saddest way possible
microbiologist: please don’t fight someone who is already pissed about antibiotic resistance and can identify bacteria based solely on their smell
climatologist: will choose the battlefield as somewhere in the path of a category 5 hurricane and then leave you to die. do not fight please
environmental scientist: they can control the entire world do you really want to fight them
chemist: have you seen breaking bad? no, do not fight them. do NOT
physicist: will kill you with math. not the best way to go
herpetologist: can probably speak parseltongue and know just which frogs are best at taking over your habitat. only fight if you live in antarctica
cancer biologist: has immediate access to at least 5 different tumor cell lines and knows exactly where to inject them in your heart to cause metastases. don’t even look them in the eye
marine biologist: is a real life aquaman. will lure you with cute river otters and then finish you off with some terrifying deep sea creature. better to just stay home and never leave
psychologist: is basically a mind reader. will drown you in your deepest darkest fears. 10/10 do not recommend to fight
molecular biologist: will kill you organelle by organelle. you will die a slow and painful death while covered in budding yeast
statistician: their power is always over 80%, and they will quickly punt you in the path of a normal distribution even before you can yell „Wilcoxon!“
archaeologist: can use a trowel 59 different ways, and only 9 are for digging. one can only guess the other 50, so may be advisable to stay far away
astronomer: will launch you into space and send you to a planet so inhospitable not even matt damon can make it back this time
pharmacologist: why would you ever fight someone who knows all about drugs. why
computer scientist: they know the perfect algorithm for death. do not fight, even with a firewall
linguist: no matter where you are, they can talk about you behind your back in the native tongue. do you really want death by humiliation. do you
dinosaurologist: are you kidding me?? the answer is no

child handling for the childless nurse

mikkeneko:

pervocracy:

My current job has me working with children, which is kind of a weird shock after years in environments where a “young” patient is 40 years old.  Here’s my impressions so far:

Birth – 1 year: Essentially a small cute animal.  Handle accordingly; gently and affectionately, but relying heavily on the caregivers and with no real expectation of cooperation.

Age 1 – 2: Hates you.  Hates you so much.  You can smile, you can coo, you can attempt to soothe; they hate you anyway, because you’re a stranger and you’re scary and you’re touching them.  There’s no winning this so just get it over with as quickly and non-traumatically as possible.

Age 3 – 5: Nervous around medical things, but possible to soothe.  Easily upset, but also easily distracted from the thing that upset them.  Smartphone cartoons and “who wants a sticker?!!?!?” are key management techniques.

Age 6 – 10: Really cool, actually.  I did not realize kids were this cool.  Around this age they tend to be fairly outgoing, and super curious and eager to learn.  Absolutely do not babytalk; instead, flatter them with how grown-up they are, teach them some Fun Gross Medical Facts, and introduce potentially frightening experiences with “hey, you want to see something really cool?”

Age 11 – 14: Extremely variable.  Can be very childish or very mature, or rapidly switch from one mode to the other.  At this point you can almost treat them as an adult, just… a really sensitive and unpredictable adult.  Do not, under any circumstances, offer stickers.  (But they might grab one out of the bin anyway.)

Age 15 – 18: Basically an adult with severely limited life experience.  Treat as an adult who needs a little extra education with their care.  Keep parents out of the room as much as possible, unless the kid wants them there.  At this point you can go ahead and offer stickers again, because they’ll probably think it’s funny.  And they’ll want one.  Deep down, everyone wants a sticker.

This is also a pretty excellent guide to writing  kids of various ages