
Narvi and Celebrimbor
(Admiring their door)

Bilbo: and before your quest, I have this mithril coat for you. Wear it under your clothes. That way, you can fake your death and watch the rest of the Fellowship to see how they act when they think you just died.
Fucking humans with their fucking shoddy work conditions this iron is barely even pure and he wants the blade all “cuuuuuurvy” and can only pay in coins that aren’t even gold and what is up with their tall as fuck anvils everything’s too tall now Mahal-dammit. When I get my kingdom back it’s nothing but right angles and gems on everything and anvils that are the RIGHT FUCKING SIZE forever and ever.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I would happily have watched “Bitter Smithing: The Film.”
And no one even bothers to offer him a box… so sad.