Schlagwort: long post

Hello, my name is Teleporno

firsthousepacifist:

koalamb:

magpiedragon:

psychopompious:

omnomnomwisenom:

Remember yourself reading all things Tolkien for the first time? Surely, all the distant “magical” lands, Elves and dragons took your breath away (or failed to do so). But there always were these parts where you could not restrain yourself from laughing out loud because of the very way the words you were reading sound.

Those names!

In case English is not your mother tongue, chances are that you’ve had a feeling (once, at the very least) Tolkien was purposedly trolling you and all of your fellow Finnish/German/Italian/(choose for yourself) speakers. In case English is your native language, you’ve probably had this feeling as well.

Here goes a list being compiled with the help of people mentioned at the end of the post. If you wish to contribute, please don’t hesitate and send me a note (or two, for the sake of double-checking); I’ll update this very post.

Here we go.

BARAN

  • Russian. Literally ‘ram’ (male sheep).

BELEG

  • German. Literally ‘receipt’.

BEREG

  • Russian. Literally ‘shore’.

BEREN

  • German. When said out loud, sounds like the
    German word for ‘berries’ (Beeren).

CELEBORN

  • Teleporno. Self-explanative. In every language.

CELEBRIMBOR

  • Czech. ‘Brambor‘ means ‘potato‘.

CELEGORM (Turcafinwe)

  • Italian.  ‘Turco’ means ‘Turkish’. 
  • Russian. ‘Turka’ = ‘cezve’.
  • Spanish. ‘Turca’ equals ‘penis’.

CURUFIN (Curvo)

  • Italian. ‘Curvo’ means ‘bent’.
  • Polish. ‘Curvo’ means ‘(you) whore’.
  • Romanian. ‘Curufin’ means ‘the smooth a$$’.
  • Russian. ‘Curva’ goes as a not-that-wide-spread synonym for ‘whore’, ‘prostitute’.

ELENDIL

  • German. Sounds weird (but also
    poetic) because ‘Elend’ means ‘great misery’.

FINGOLFIN (Nolofinwe)

  • Finnish. Nolo means ‘embarrassed’ or ‘awkward’.
  • Latin. Nolo stands for ‘I
    don’t want’.

GROIN

  • English. In human anatomy, the groin is the junctional area between the abdomen and the thigh on either side of the pubic bone. [Wiki]

ILMEN

  • Finnish. ‘Ilma’ = ‘air’.

MAEDHROS (Nelyafinwe)

  • Finnish. ‘Nelya’ means ‘four’ (and not third).

MAGLOR (Kanafinwe)

  • Finnish. Kana means ‘chicken’.

MANDOS

  • Russian. The first four-five letters have a stunning resemblance with the vulgar word for women’s genitalia.

MANWE

  • German. Mann-Weh is pretty much literally (though not really used) ‘man pain’.

MENELTARMA

  • Polish. ‘Menel’ is colloquial for ‘drunken hobo’.

SAURON (Annatar)

  • Finnish. Anna is a common
    girl’s name and in finnish language -tar suffix is sometimes added to a
    title to make a feminine variation of it.

SILMARILLI

  • Finnish. ‘Silmä’ means ‘eye’.

UINEN

  • Finnish. ‘Uida’ is ‘to swim’.

VORONWE

  • Russian. ‘Voron’ stands for ‘raven’.

CONTRIBUTORS

@ancamnarvienn

@centawen

@clouds-of-wings

@doegred-main

@frillyfacefins

@grahamology

@macalaures

@mutisija

@omnomnomwisenom

@snartha

  • # silver potato
  • # the close fraternal relationship between penis finwe and whore finwe
  • # thank you contributors for bringing this joy to my life

    • If you bother going back to Hobbit for a minute DALE can get transcribed as DAL out of necessity, which is kinda oldie for “distance” or “far away” in Polish.

    The City of Far Away under The Lonely Mountain kinda makes it feel even more like you are reading something for five-year-olds.

    Gonna add some more on the Finnish-sounding words, because why not. I highly doubt some of these are the supposed inspiration, but I still find them rather amusing.  

    Ainu( r) – ainut/ainoa in Finnish, meaning ‘the only one’ 
    Annatar – is already listed, but I thought I’d elaborate a little. Anna is a common Finnish girls’ name, and derives from the word antaa, ‘to give’. However, the form ‘anna’ is an imperative, and actually means ‘give me’. Which is rather fitting in this context.
    Ancalimë / Ancalimon:  most certainly not related, but the finnish word for ‘duck’ is ankka, and I always found this rather amusing.
    Calacirya/Kalacirya: close to the pronunciation of kalakirja, which would technically mean ‘fish book’ or ‘fishing book’. 
    Calavénë/Kalavéntë: kala means fish, vene means boat. In the early drafts, there was very much a boat shape involved.  
    Calma/Calmatéma- : kalma means death 
    Cuiviénen: In the early drafts, the name of the elven haven was Koivië-néni, which sounds suspiciously close to Koivuniemi, a common Finnish place name meaning ‘birch cove’. 
    Dúnedain/Dúnadan: this is honestly just crack theory at this point, but the word is very similar to the old stadi slang term ‘duunata’ (derives from Swedish ‘done’). Duunari is a manual laborer.  
    Halla: ‘frost’ (halla literally means frost), but Tolkien chose it to mean tall/long in quenya.  
    Harma: harmaa is ‘grey’ in Finnish.  
    Helcar: another complete crack theory, but helkkari is an old slang curse that one might use in the same way as ‘bloody’ in ‘bloody cold’ etc. One of the most popular contexts for the word is to exclaim how incredibly cold it is outside, on helkkarin kylmä.  
    Huor: huora, ‘a whore’. I rather doubt this is what Tolkien was inspired by lmao.  
    Maia( r): Maija is another common Finnish name, but also an old slang term for the police.  
    Melkor: another one I’m very doubtful about, but melko means ‘quite’. 
    Náin: literal translations would be either ‘I marry’ or ‘I fuck’. Pick your favorite. 
    Ori: my sweet summer child, your name actually means stallion (or a beefy handsome man, oldish slang term) 
    Saeros: very close to the pronunciation of ‘sick’ and/or ‘twisted’. 
    Timpinen / Tinfang Warble: Timpinen is just a legit Finnish surname. 
    Vala( r): an oath (to swear an oath: vannoa vala), but also meaning ‘to mold/to create’ when in verb form. (to cast iron: valaa rautaa, to create the world, valaa maailma, archaic)  
    Valarauka: see above. Raukka means ‘poor’ or ‘wretched’ in Finnish.  
    Voronwë: voro means ‘thief’  

    And my favorite, which is the Quenya numbers, as there’s a whole lot of interesting little easter eggs: 

    Third (ordinal): nelya (neljä = four) 
    Fifth (ordinal): lempëa (lempeä = gentle) 
    Seven (cardinal): otso (otso = old word for ‘bear’, but also similar to Spanish and Italian 8)
    twenty-three: leminkainen (Lemminkäinen = one of the heroes in Kalevala)

    Don’t even get me started on Tolkien’s names and how they sound in Russian.

    Ibun (the dwarf) – “fucker”. Not really an insult, just… idk, someone who fucks.
    Durin. Duren’ means “stupid man”.
    Gondolin. Gondon is a slang word for a condom.
    A particulary common word her (lord, master, ruler) literally means “dick”.
    Ar-Adûnakhôr (a king of Numenor) sounds close to “Ar-I’m-going-to-fuck-off”.
    Angamando. The same as Mandos. “Mando” means prison in Quenya; and “manda” is… yes, a vulgar word for women’s genitalia.
    Erebor. This one is not obscene, tho. Perebor means “too much, overflow”.

    I don’t even notice it anymore, but my non-Tolkien friends lose their shit every time I mention somebody with a particulary funny name. Makes serious conversations harder.

    Húrin also sounds a bit too similar to “Huren”, German word for “whores”. And to “urine”.

    Marlene McKinnon (I’m sorry)

    owlpostagain:

    I totally understand why everyone prefers to make this Lily’s best friend. Lily didn’t have any known friends, so when Marlene McKinnon was mentioned in OotP, the fandom collectively decided to make her Lily’s best friend.

    I really do get it, and I don’t mean to ruin headcanons and rain on parades.

    But I think it’s more likely that the two weren’t that close.

    There are four mentions of her in the books:

    PS:

    No one ever lived after he decided ter kill ‘em, no one except you, an’ he’d killed some o’ the best witches an’ wizards of the age — the McKinnons, the Bones, the Prewetts an’ you was only a baby, an’ you lived.“

    So the “McKinnons” are mentioned as the best witches and wizards of their age. This probably doesn’t mean just Marlene. It’s a lot more likely that it means Marlene+husband or Marlene+sibling.

    GoF:

    “Yes!” said Karkaroff. “There was Travers – he helped murder the McKinnons!

    So from this we can assume that the McKinnons were well-known enough that their murder would be something people would remember. Maybe it was particularly public because it was an entire family, but Karkaroff believes that it’s enough to shift the focus to Travers.

    OP:

    “There’s me,” said Moody, unnecessarily pointing at himself. The Moody in the picture was unmistakable, though his hair was slightly less grey and his nose was intact. “And there’s Dumbledore beside me, Dedalus Diggle on the other side… that’s Marlene McKinnon, she was killed two weeks after this was taken, they got her whole family.

    This quote strongly implies that the entire family was killed in one swoop. It’s hard to know what “her whole family” means. In the case of Lily/James, most people say Lily/James’ deaths. The fact that both Karkaroff refers to them as the McKinnons and Moody says they got Marlene’s whole family, I would say that “whole family” would include at least 3 people if not more. It could be Marlene’s parents, a sibling, and Marlene herself. Or it could be Marlene, her spouse, and her child(ren).

    If Marlene is married, it’s likely that Marlene McKinnon is her married name. Because if Marlene McKinnon had married John Smith but kept her name, Hagrid would have said “Marlene McKinnon and John Smith” or used “the Smiths” to (incorrectly) refer to their entire family.

    DH:

    Wormy was here last weekend. I thought he seemed down, but that was probably the next about the McKinnons; I cried all evening when I heard. Bathilda drops in most days, she’s a fascinating old thing with the most amazing stories about Dumbledore. I’m not sure he’d be pleased if he knew! I don’t know how much to believe, actually because it seems incredible that Dumbledore-

    This to me is the strongest indicator that Lily and Marlene were not close friends. I know that everyone expresses emotions differently, but Lily sandwiches a mention of her best friend’s recent death in between a comment about Wormtail and some light gossip about Dumbledore. And it’s clear that this is the first time that she has discussed the McKinnons with Sirius, because she tells him how she reacted when she found out. So if they were long-time best friends, she’s being really cavalier.

    If Ron had died, Harry would not write a letter to Hermione saying:

    “Neville stopped by today and seemed down, but that was probably the news about the Weasleys. I cried all evening when I heard.”

    Hermione would not need to be told that Harry was upset over the Weasley’s deaths, she would be mourning right along with Harry. And Harry would not drop a mention of Ron’s death into a casual thank you note. If this had been the first time he had communicated with Hermione since the Weasleys’ deaths, he would either go into at least a bit more detail or omit it entirely. And he would show some sign that he was concerned that Hermione might be mourning as well. Even if he had magically come to terms with it within 24 hours, he would not drop it into a letter to Ron’s other close friend.

    Obviously, you’re free to ignore this and continue shipping Marlene/Sirius, I’m not going to criticize. But I think fanon can muddle our understanding of the characters, and honestly even I was surprised at how few times she’s actually mentioned.

    So just know that if you’re writing a fic about Lily Evans, her best friend doesn’t actually have to be named Marlene.

    I mostly agree, but I don’t think that Marlene and the rest of her family were necessarily killed all at the same time.

    It’s the most obvious interpretation of what Moody said about them, of course (I didn’t even think that much about it until reading this post). But if Marlene was killed two weeks after the photo was taken, it would also mean that Lily wrote the letter 2-3 weeks or a month at most after that. Considering that by the time she wrote it, Harry was old enough to fly on a toy broom, the Potters must have been in hiding for some time already. Meeting with the rest of the Order for the sake of a group photo would have been too much of a security risk, so I’m assuming that a lot more time passed in between.

    So it’s likely that Marlene was murdered first and the other McKinnons later towards the end of the first war. I think Lily’s reaction is reasonable if Marlene was a friend (though maybe not her best friend) who has been dead for a while, and now the rest of her family (whom Lily possibly didn’t know very well) have been killed too.

    redrikki:

    grand-duc:

    padawanlost:

    redrikki:

    padawanlost:

    redrikki:

    padawanlost:

    redrikki:

    According to Wookiepedia, members of the Jedi Council were elected by, well, the other members of the Jedi Council. In Legends, five members served for life. I’m guessing Yoda was one of these, which is super problematic considering just how long his life is. Four other members served open-ended terms with a chance at promotion to life-time when one of the five kicked it. The remaining three members were term-limited and were often brought on because they had specific types of expertise. I’m guessing Obi-Wan was one of these, promoted to the Council during the Clone Wars thanks to his skills at general-ing.

    They rule over 10,000+ knights plus an unknown number of younglings, padawans, and service corpse members, but the Jedi Council is basically the board of a small art museum where everyone just nominates their friends and relatives. A number of councilors were nominated to the Council by their masters including Depa Billaba, Plo Koon, Ki-Adi-Mundi, while others were simply part of a siting councilor’s lineage, like Obi-Wan. Basically, if you’re just a rank-and-file Jedi from some random lineage, then you have almost no chance of ascending to power. You have even less of a chance if you have a known complaint with the Code or the Council’s interpretation of the same. No wonder Barriss felt like she had to blow something up just to be heard.

    i need to
    confirm the sources but i’m pretty sure Obi-Wan was got the rank of Master and
    joined the Jedi Council right after the battle of Geonosis.

    Btw, I loved
    you pointed this out because the Jedi Council always gave me some serious
    nepotism vibes.  

    • Yoda (Council Member) trained Dooku (invited) trained
      Qui-Gon (considered) trained Obi-Wan
      (Council Member) trained Anakin (it’s complicated!)
    • Yoda (Council Member) trained
      Mace Windu (Council Member) trained Depa Billaba (Council Member)
    • Yoda (Council Member) trained
      trained Ki-Adi-Mundi (Council Member)
    • Yoda (Council Member) trained
      trained Kit Fisto (Council Member)

    It’s too much coincidence,
    to be just coincidence. Of the 12 members, we have at least 6 linked to Yoda. In
    An Order with more 10000 members, no one else, who was not directly linked to
    Yoda, was good enough to be on the Council? Am I supposed to believe that?
    Seriously! I call bullshit. The members were not elect on merit only, their
    views HAD to be in line with Yoda’s (and his apprentices and, let’s be real,
    yoda’s apprentices believes = yoda’s believes) for them to even be considered.

    Qui-Gon: I shall do what I must, Obi-Wan.
    Obi-Wan: If you would just follow the code, you would be on the council.

    It’s not about
    selecting the “best” members. It’s about selecting a member who will help them maintain
    the status quo.

    The Jedi Council is the people in a room deciding what’s best for everyone, ready to give final say to one ‘wise’ leader when they don’t agree. Boy, that sounds familiar. Where have I heard of that system of government before? Hmmmm.

    What’s really interesting to me is the aspect of dynasty within the Council. Jedi aren’t permitted to have families and, if they have biological children, they aren’t permitted to raise them so as to avoid attachment and nepotism, and yet, that’s exactly what happens with master-padawan lineage. It’s about as incestuous as all those medieval popes being succeeded by their ‘nephews.’ Yoda, a life-time member with an insanely long lifetime, basically has a stranglehold on the reigns of power which his ‘heirs’ may share but never actually inherit.

    The more i
    think about this the more frustrated I get. All the Order’s major issues, in
    some way or another, come back to this. For them to evolve, they didn’t need a
    radical chance like Anakin slaughtering everyone. All they needed to do was
    open themselves to new opinions. It was that simple. If they had accepted new
    ideas, debated them, learned from them, they would’ve been unstoppable. Something
    to be truly respected and admired. They didn’t need a revolution. All they
    needed to do was listen. This is what frustrates me so much about the council. If
    they had done something as simple as listening to new ideas everything that
    happened could’ve been avoided.

    And as much
    as I enjoy criticizing all the members of the council, I’m blaming this one on
    Yoda and here’s why: the Jedi Order was capable of change. They changed their
    rules a bunch of times to adapt to new situations, so change was possible. But how
    many changes happened after Yoda took control? As far as I know, nothing significant
    changed. If anything, his “rise to power” marked the decline of the Jedi Order.
    Under his guidance, the Jedi kept themselves isolated and detached from the
    rest of the galaxy, they grew more dependent on the Senate, we noticed the
    first signs of nepotism in the High Council, they turned themselves into
    soldiers, etc.

    Yes, the
    individual members of the Council are all responsible for what happened too but
    we can’t deny the only thing they have in common is Yoda, and that says a lot. They
    were all trained by him (at some point or another) and they all sought his
    counsel when in doubt. That’s a lot of power over a lot of minds. And that’s
    why I don’t by the idea that Yoda is wise or admirable. I’m not saying his sith
    lord in disguise but I can’t call wise a being who lived for 900 years without
    learning shit. I just can’t.

    The saddest part is that the Jedi, or at least some Jedi, were aware of this. In the Kanan comics, Depa says that the reason she chose Caleb is because he questions the status quo and the Jedi are going to need people who do that if they have any hope of surviving in a changing universe. She firmly believes that they need some sort of avenue for peaceful dissent in order to stay a relevant force in the galaxy.

    The sad truth is that the Jedi order has a Yoda problem. He trains all the younglings. Ahsoka later describes him as both wise and kind but he’s demonstrably neither. She, and every other Jedi youngling for 800+ years have simply been raised to think that. He also has the power to override anyone else in terms of decision making both because they’ve been raised to respect his ‘wisdom’ and because he has that authority as Grand Master of the Council. During AotC, he overrides Mace Windu, the Master of the Order, and makes him cover up the fact they have no clue where their mystery army came from.

    So many of Yoda’s decisions are about maintaining or consolidating power, both for himself within the Order and the Order within the galaxy. He doesn’t want Anakin because the Chosen One might be a threat to his dominance. He doesn’t want to admit that the Jedi don’t know what’s going on during the Clone Wars, because he doesn’t want them to lose power within the Republic. In an episode of Rebels he admits that he acted out of fear and that all of his decisions leading up to and during the Clone Wars were based on his fear of change. It’s nice that he finally gained the wisdom and introspection to figure that out, but it was too little too late.

    “a Yoda
    problem”!! I love it. From now on all my meta will be tagged “the Yoda problem”!!!lol

    Tbh, I never
    bought the idea behind that scene in Rebels. I never believed had actually
    learned anything from what happened. it’s the same problem I’ve with Yoda in
    the ROTS novelization. Both have scenes with Yoda admitting he was wrong but he
    changes nothing afterwards. He admits he acted out of fear, and years later he’s
    back to pull the same shit that led to destruction of the Jedi order. It doesn’t
    matter what he says because his actions don’t align with his beliefs. It’s like
    Anakin saying he’ll bring peace to the galaxy right after he killed a bunch of
    children. What comes out of his mouth doesn’t match his behavior.

    I think at
    some point Yoda mentions they were wrong to jump into the Clone wars. Okay, I agree.
    He’s right. But then he’s absolutely okay with Luke turning into a soldier so
    he can kill his own father. Where’s the wisdom in that?

    What bothers
    me the most about Yoda is that he had more time than any other character in the
    franchise to learn from his mistakes but yet died preaching the same crap that
    got all his students killed in brutal, violent ways. Not only that, he died in
    his bed, peacefully. As if he had done well and accomplished his mission. Like a
    hero resting after saving the day.

    He never
    took any responsibilities for 900 years of mistakes. There’s no wisdom or humility
    in that. The very little he learned changed nothing. He died the same way he
    lived.

    I think part of the tragedy of Yoda and Obi-Wan in the OT, is that they knew they had fucked up somewhere, but they were never able to figure out WHERE they had fucked up.

    So they died doing the same shit that got them in that position in the first place.

    #for an order of empathic monks #they’re shockingly bad at self-reflection (tags by @grand-duc) 

    sweatysnow:

    mrs-storm-andrews:

    thereyloverse:

    reylotraash:

    everythingreylo:

    lunch-is-bangin:

    gemini-loverxxx:

    pinch-o-mad:

    mask-of-prime:

    klubbhead:

    literally–hitler:

    klubbhead:

    tht-lesbian-fangirl:

    nexar-k:

    thej-key:

    klubbhead:

    rebeccafultz-blog:

    klubbhead:

    ourholyvengeance:

    nunyabizni:

    klubbhead:

    sculptingsuccess:

    klubbhead:

    unaffiliatedpangolin:

    klubbhead:

    aven-rave:

    klubbhead:

    watergirl1996:

    ryuukiba:

    charlottec21:

    thevindictiveserpent:

    science-fiction-is-real:

    skankplissken:

    LAST TIME I REBLOGGED THIS THE LAST COMPARISON WASNT ON THERE

    This is the best thing I have ever seen

    @klubbhead You used a cinnamon roll for Rey and not Leia?

    Dam it it got better

    S T O P

    @klubbhead

    Do Darth Maul next!

    This is why I love Tumblr. Do Yoda next please or Boba Fett.

    Oh god. I can’t even think of something for them lol

    Yoda gotta be raisin bread.

    ENOUGH

    NO

    😬

    do grand moff tarkin.

    The last one got me.

    THE YODA ONE 😂

    Would you like some powdered sugar or SALT on that? 

    IM SCREAMING SO MANY NEW ONES WERE ADDED SINCE THE LAST TIME I SAW THIS

    It’s been a while.

    It’s getting better every fucking time!

    OMFG

    rebel-blueberry:

    hyper-windy:

    pep-no:

    mask-of-prime:

    klubbhead:

    literally–hitler:

    klubbhead:

    tht-lesbian-fangirl:

    nexar-k:

    thej-key:

    klubbhead:

    rebeccafultz-blog:

    klubbhead:

    ourholyvengeance:

    nunyabizni:

    klubbhead:

    sculptingsuccess:

    klubbhead:

    unaffiliatedpangolin:

    klubbhead:

    aven-rave:

    klubbhead:

    watergirl1996:

    ryuukiba:

    charlottec21:

    thevindictiveserpent:

    science-fiction-is-real:

    skankplissken:

    LAST TIME I REBLOGGED THIS THE LAST COMPARISON WASNT ON THERE

    This is the best thing I have ever seen

    @klubbhead You used a cinnamon roll for Rey and not Leia?

    Dam it it got better

    S T O P

    @klubbhead

    Do Darth Maul next!

    This is why I love Tumblr. Do Yoda next please or Boba Fett.

    Oh god. I can’t even think of something for them lol

    Yoda gotta be raisin bread.

    ENOUGH

    NO

    😬

    do grand moff tarkin.

    Ohh… Myy… Lordd…

    😂😂😂😂😂

    Assdsaddfgghkklkjhfdssf Obi wan next please

    IT GOT A LOT BETTER

    azriona:

    queeriesincourrier:

    overclicked:

    jell-o-cat:

    petermorwood:

    aimofdestiny:

    werpiper:

    aghostforafriend:

    Bullshit

    BRILLIANT

    @petermorwood

    Swords from nails are cute: for how-to reference, here’s a video.

    And here are some more ex-nails.

    This looks like something Terry would have given the Nac mac Feegle. (NB, must glow blue in the presence of lawyers…)

    If you want something bigger, there are plenty of photos of handsome knives made from old US railroad spikes…

    This one is so well-finished that it looks incomplete without a proper grip; of course a grip would conceal its origin. YMMV. Swings and roundabouts..

    Not just knives…

    There are even swords (with extra metal added, of course).

    There’s an attractive Middle Earth Elvish look to these.

    Man that first one is like swords for mice

    @celeloriel I don’t know why this made me think of you, possibly b/c it’s both artful and badass ^^;

    @swordlesbianopinions

    @casapazzo

    Free Online Language Courses

    studyblr-bri:

    wonderful-language-sounds:

    image

    *UPDATED* Here is a masterpost of MOOCs (massive open online courses) that are available, archived, or starting soon. Some are short, some are very interactive, some are very in-depth. I think they will help those that like to learn with a teacher or with videos. I checked each link to make sure they are functioning.

    Spanish

    Beginner 

    Intermediate 

    Advanced

    French

    Beginner

    Intermediate

    Advanced

    Portuguese

    Italian

    Beginner

    Intermediate

    Advanced 

    Catalan

    Latin

    Russian

    Beginner

    Advanced

    Ukrainian

    Kazakh

    Chinese

    Beginner

    Intermediate

    Japanese

    Korean

    Beginner

    Intermediate

    Dutch

    German

    Beginner

    Advanced

    Norwegian

    Swedish

    Finnish

    Frisian

    Icelandic

    Arabic

    Hebrew

    Hindi

    Indonesian

    Nepali

    Welsh

    Irish

    Multiple Languages

    I’ll keep an eye out for new courses and if you know of any, let me know so I can update this list.

    Last updated: February 19, 2016

    god bless whoever made this 

    aniseandspearmint:

    kyraneko:

    rosestonewrites:

    marloviandevil:

    nautolanshenanigans:

    betterbemeta:

    steela-gerrera:

    I’m just imaging an AU where Padme’s pregnancy didn’t have to be a secret and Anakin is trying to pick out names for the baby so he asks his men for ideas, and the clones, of course, throw out names like

    “Zapper!”

    “Sling!”

    “Bomber!”

    “Kickback!”

    Anakin is internally screaming, but he doesn’t want to insult them by saying those are terrible names so he’s just like, “…thanks, guys.”

    even better is if after the kids are born, there are still clones around for security and such and when they’re old enough to talk they know they were given names by their parents, but clones see those names as like. your technical/official ID. not as your actual personal name. so they talk to these little kids who of course love preposterous names and that’s how leia is also named POWERFIST

    I’ve reblogged this before but imagine Luke being dubbed “Cinnamon Roll” by the clones

    Powerfist and Cinnamon Roll Skywalker. Deal.

    OH MY GOD so i was just gonna tagspiral about this but I have Too Many Thoughts so i’m gonna actually write real text for once

    So: here we have Powerfist Leia Skywalker and Cinnamon Roll Luke Skywalker.  They probably spend a lot of time with the clones, right?  Because if Padme and Anakin aren’t in a Secret Relationship then Anakin probably doesn’t fall, so the war doesn’t end the way it does in canon – actually, shit, I forgot about 66.  So let’s say Palps tries to recruit Anakin anyway because he’s super-powerful and Palps wants that on his side, but Anakin betrays him to the Council and Order 66 doesn’t happen.

    But just because Palpatine tripped and fell into about a dozen lightsabers on his way to his jail cell doesn’t mean the war’s over.  The Separatists are fucked, they can’t exactly claim that Sidious made them do it, so they’re going to try their hardest not to lose.  So Anakin’s still spending a lot of time out in the field, and Padme’s still got Senate stuff to do.  And they probably both already had serious business security details, since somebody needs to be around whenever Anakin decides to do something really fucking stupid without backup (he usually manages without backup, but Obi-Wan, Padme and every clone friend of Anakin’s agree that they’d rather have someone on him anyway), and Padme’s a significant target for the Separatists because a) she’s pretty well-connected in the Senate and b) Palps was hoping he could kill her off to get Anakin to fall.  Which would’ve ended pretty badly for him but Palpatine clearly doesn’t understand love so he wouldn’t have realised that.

    SO.  Anakin gets called off to spearhead some campaign somewhere, Padme has to go to the Senate, and who’s left to look after Powerfist and Cinnamon Roll?  (Padme finds these names hilarious.)  It’s the clones.

    “Okay,” Rex says, no longer quite so angry about being grounded while his blaster wound heals.  “Watch carefully.  This is how you hold a blaster, okay?”

    Luke and Leia are fascinated.

    Padme, who entered politics at a frankly ridiculous age and was embroiled in her first war at the age of fourteen, isn’t all that upset when she finds out.  Okay, she’d prefer it if the weaponry lessons waited until the kids were older, but considering who their parents are, they’re pretty tempting kidnap targets so she’d rather they knew how to look after themselves.  And they’re so cute doing their unarmed combat lessons!

    Anakin – Anakin is very protective of his tiny children.  HE’S SEEN SOME SHITTY STUFF IN THE GALAXY, OKAY, HE JUST WANTS TO WRAP THEM IN COTTON WOOL AND HIDE THEM SOMEWHERE UNTIL THEY’RE EIGHTEEN.  He is not impressed when he finds out.  Every stupid, dangerous thing he ever did as a child is running through his head on a loop.  He did so many stupid things.

    “Not that many,” Padme says, patting his shoulder.

    “Pod races,” Anakin says hoarsely.  “Blowing up Trade Federation droid ships.  Racing speeders.  Sticking my hands into droid innards.”

    “That isn’t that dangerous,” Padme says, frowning.

    “What if I’d electrocuted myself?” Anakin demands.  “I could have died so many ways, Padme, why did I pass this on to my children, oh god.”

    Padme looks over at Rex for support.

    “He’s never told you any of the really wild war stories, has he,” Rex says, deadpan.  “They’re too short to fly fighters, but we can start them on acrobatics soon, they’ll have an easier time if they’ve already had practice not throwing up the first time one of them decides to spin the ship they’re flying.”

    “I’ll take that into consideration,” Padme says, wondering what Anakin’s stories are if they aren’t the wild ones.

    Somewhere, Obi-Wan Kenobi just broke a rib laughing.

    It’s canon (or was) that as a child Leia had a fluorescent pink alien kitten-type animal named All-Terrain Attack Vehicle, so I can see her being totally on board with the awesome names.

    Now consider: regular OT universe, lots of the clones went AWOL after Order 66 and many of them found their way into the Rebellion. The Rebellion was thus influenced by their culture, including this habit of giving out names like this.

    Clones around Leia Organa when she’s growing up.

    Clones teaching her to shoot, to fight, to fall, to fly. One of them finds her crying over some momentary childhood upsetness at age five and cheers her up by teaching her to hold a blaster. And then to shoot it. And then to hit what she’s aiming at.

    At six, she gets into her first fistfight with another child, a spoiled brat of Alderaan’s nobility, and comes out of it with a bloody nose and a couple broken knickles because she doesn’t know how to punch correctly. Bail gives her a scathing lecture on deportment and courtesy and keeping her temper and how a princess must behave, given edge with his own terror that she’s taking after her other father. The clone who finds her, sulking in the mechanics bay, stung and furious, teaches her how to fight.

    At eight, she wants to learn to fly, and Bail, visions of Anakin dancing in his head, dissuades her. It’s the most natural thing in the world to go to the clones and ask to be taught.

    At ten she announces that she doesn’t want to go into politics, she wants to be a clone. When her mother points out, gently, that she is the Crown Princess and has responsibilities, she suggests they find girls who look like her to be the Princess for her when she’s busy. She has no idea why both her parents go white at the suggestion.

    At eleven, fresh out of another fight–she wants to go help the Rebellion directly, she wants to fight, she wants to go places, be out in the thick of things, and her parents want her to study and do princess things, they want to keep her safe–she goes to the clones with several years of pent-up questions.

    The clones are ones who spent years fighting beside Anakin Skywalker, and almost as much time spent running interference for, and pretending not to know about, Anakin’s secret relationship with Padmé Amidala. They didn’t know she was pregnant, but between the piloting skills and the temper and the recklessness and the elder Organas’ reaction to her decoy idea, they can guess.

    One of them brings out a medkit and they run a genetic test on a drop of Leia’s blood. They’ve seen the readout of Anakin’s displayed so many times they’ve practically committed it to memory, and the relationship is obvious even to those not medic-trained. Now Leia has a second set of parents, and a host of stories about them, and the personal loyalty of every clone trooper in the Rebellion–General Skywalker’s daughter.

    When she’s twelve, a thought occurs to her, and it’s the clones, not her parents, that she asks, “if my father was a Jedi, am I Force-sensitive too?”

    Some clone out working support for the Rebellion’s secret operatives gets in touch with Fulcrum for her.

    A couple days after Leia’s thirteenth birthday, Ahsoka Tano makes planetfall on Alderaan and is snuck by the clones (”Good to see you, Commander,”) into the mechanics bay to meet Leia. By the time Bail and Breha figure out what Leia’s disappearing for this time, Leia’s already made her first lightsaber and is working on her second.

    When Darth Vader tracks down Ahsoka Tano, Ahsoka Tano is not alone.

    “Who are you?” he asks, confused by the presence of this fierce child–his grand-apprentice, as it were, glaring at him from behind two lightsabers (blue, for her father, and green, for her teacher) like he’d offended her grievously in the past. (He’s never really met Princess Leia Organa, beyond an occasional presence at the same Imperial event, but she knows quite a lot about him. She isn’t going to run for Senate, but she is going to rebel. She does her research.)

    “Killshot,” is what she says.

    Darth Vader was Anakin Skywalker, and Anakin Skywalker knows clone naming customs when he hears them. “A Force-sensitive clone?” is what he asks. (The name was gifted to her at nine, when she beat the combat flight simulator on its highest mode eleven times in a row.)

    Leia beams. It’s the best compliment anyone could give her. “Yes,” she says, and brings up her blades.

    *claps and cheers*

    Rogue One Spoilers

    comradeocean:

    fuckyeahisawthat:

    copperbadge:

    meariver:

    copperbadge:

    BTW I saw Rogue One today and while

    a) This is not my fandom
    b) I was expecting Space Ocean’s Eleven not Space D-Day At Normandy holy fuck
    c) I am so ignorant of Star Wars that I once thought an origami Star Wars Spaceship was a poorly-executed origami flower

    nevertheless

    a) Pretty great movie
    b) K2-SOF MY HEART
    c) Even though I was expecting it I still almost cried when CGI Baby Carrie Fisher showed up

    Also, I told my parents before the movie “This is a movie that is so political Disney had to make a statement that it wasn’t political” and after the movie my mum said “I have literally with my own eyes seen live anti-nuke protests in the sixties that were less political than that movie.”

    PS WOW Darth Vader’s outfit does not age well huh? I feel like the grainy quality of the original films hid a multitude of costuming sins on that one, holy textured trousers Batman.

    wait, how was this political? i’m 27, am i too young to see it? was it like an anti-nuke thing or something???

    (legitimate questions, i’m not tryna start shit, i just genuinely didn’t notice anything political about it)

    WELL I AM HAPPY TO EXPOUND 😀 

    The Empire has traditionally been a symbol for totalitarian regimes – it’s an insanely repressive and corrupt police state ruled over by an emperor where violence stands in place of reasoned law. The film takes a strong stance against this totalitarianism, casting the film’s heroes as enemies of the regime. Also, notably, it is a cast of predominantly people of color as the heroes, pitted against predominantly white men as the villains. 

    So this is a movie about the first step in toppling a dictatorship, an empire, which America is uncomfortably close to being in letter as well as in aspect, both against other countries and against marginalized people in our own country.

    Exchanges like “You would see the Empire’s flag across the galaxy?” “It doesn’t bother you if you don’t look up” are pretty pointed, especially followed by that same person saying “rebellion starts with hope” later in the film. This entire film is about people who were either active colluders in a totalitarian regime or passive subjects of it, awakening to the evil they live within and coming together with people who have spent their lives fighting it to throw the first punch in bringing it down. One woman trying to carry out her father’s legacy of sabotage becomes six people intent on finishing their mission becomes what, about two dozen soldiers assaulting a stronghold, becomes the entire Rebel Alliance engaging with the Empire, which results in the attainment of the Death Star plans that allow the Rebellion to strike a savage blow against the Empire in A New Hope. The power of one person to start a firestorm if they’re just willing to stand up to power is a pretty political message. 

    It is, also, I think, extremely anti-nuke, yes. Every time the Death Star fires, you get a cloud that looks very like a mushroom (atomic bomb) or bubble (hydrogen bomb) cloud. The Death Star is the ultimate evil, because once you have it, you don’t argue with someone who disagrees with you, you just obliterate them. It’s rule by fear. And if the other side doesn’t have it, then we don’t even have “nuclear deterrence” (which is kind of an insane concept) – there’s just this one single planet-destroying weapon in the hands of a madman. America has a lot of nukes and we keep wanting to be the ONLY ones who have nukes…sound familiar?

    Others who have seen the film more than once and know the background better than me can chime in, but in my view this was a film with an exceptionally political point to make about anti-authoritarianism, the essential corrupt nature of empire, the sacrifices that rebellion requires, and the priceless value of those sacrifices.

    I haven’t check through all the reblogs so it’s possible someone’s already mentioned this, but it’s worth remembering the context of the original trilogy, released between 1977 and 1983. In the US, this was the period of the immediate aftermath of the Vietnam War–a war large sections of the US population (and eventually a significant portion of the US military) had come to oppose. This was a war where the US dropped more bombs on Laos, a country the size of Utah, than fell on all of Europe during all of WWII. It was also a war in which the most powerful military on Earth was defeated by a small guerrilla army sometimes fighting with literal sticks. (Remember Jyn’s line about one determined fighter with a sharp stick?)

    For a guerrilla force the Rebels seem relatively well-armed, but it’s always clear they’re fighting an enemy much bigger and more powerful than them–often literally bigger (think of the recurring imagery of city-sized star destroyers and towering AT-ATs, plus the fact that the Death Star is big enough to be mistaken for a small moon.) 

    The early 1980s were also a period of increased tension between the US and the USSR, a time when the world seemed as close to nuclear war as it had at any time since the Cuban Missile Crisis. Apocalyptic destruction of an entire planet seemed like a very real possibility. (See also, the popularity of the Mad Max franchise during the same era.) There were huge anti-nuclear movements in the US and many other countries. I think the idea that the Death Star is a stand-in for nuclear weapons–and that people who would build such a thing are the bad guys–would have seemed like a fairly unsubtle political metaphor to many people at the time.

    The thing about the original trilogy is that while the idea of the Death Star is terrifying, the actual effects of it are…kind of cheesy on screen. In Rogue One we get to see what it’s like to be on a planet when the Death Star strikes, and it’s terrifying. The strike on Jedha City is given a lot of visual attention and dramatic weight, from the giant rock tsunami to the view of the blast from the Death Star, which looks very mushroom-cloudy in nature. As for the strike on the vaguely Polynesian-looking Scarif, convince me that’s not supposed to evoke a South Pacific nuclear test.

    Rogue One is interesting because it mixes the Cold War imagery of the original trilogy with a whole bunch of other war imagery, from WWII to the present. So, visually, the Battle of Scarif looks like Space D-Day or Space Okinawa, but a better description of the balance of forces might be Space Tet Offensive. Jedha is Baghdad distinctly Middle-Eastern-looking, with occupying stormtroopers on a very tank-like transport vehicle getting attacked by insurgents who blend into the civilian population. In case you haven’t been following the analogy, in both of these case, the US is the Empire and the Rebels are a stand-in for the people of a small nation in the Global South resisting occupation.

    So, yeah, Star Wars is kinda political.

    I would say that rather than the Rebels, it’s Saw Gerrera and his fighters who are the direct stand-in for the anti-colonial elements of the small nations of the Global South resisting occupation. And the Rebels represent the more liberal/pro empire factions of both the Global North and South who are reformist and criticize their methods and tactics of resistance.

    … which makes the movie’s politics even more radical since “the rebel alliance is shown as hesitant, cautious and not above using the same methods that the empire uses“ while it’s the ‘extremists’ who see that the empire can’t be negotiated with, and who the heroine agrees with. [source] so Rogue One’s thesis becomes “the ‘extremists’ were right all along and everyone needs to resist violently to succeed“ [source]

    obviously ymmv given what your politics are, but I find that ~amazing~ for something out of Hollywood.

    At the same time they do show that Saw Gerrera’s extremists are going too far. Things like getting civilians killed or their treatment of prisoners (especially since Bodhi is a defector, not an Imperial anymore) are rightfully not endorsed by the narrative. It pretty much looks like they’ve partially forgotten what they started fighting for (helping people) and are now just fighting the Empire because they hate it and because the alternative would be giving up. They’re not anywhere near as bad as the Empire, and they’re right to see that the Empire won’t compromise and must be fought, but their tactics do harm innocent people too. I like how Rogue One shows that.

    I think the Alliance’s problem is that they consist of people with many different backgrounds and tasks. The politicians are used to handling problems with diplomacy and negotiations, so of course they prefer to try that first (they’d probably like to avoid a repeat of the Clone Wars too).

    Meanwhile other Alliance members have already been fighting a war for years.

    Admittedly, it takes the political group about 2 decades to see that it wouldn’t work, and the Death Star is the catalyst for that realization. Which leads to a split between the ones who are afraid and want to give up and the ones who believe they must keep fighting. And then the plots of the 2nd half of Rogue One and A New Hope happen, and everyone is forced to accept that Empire can’t be reasoned with and that the war has “officially” begun.

    littlesparklight:

    culturevulture73:

    corellian-smuggler:

    Here’s the thing about the new canon.

    Essentially they want us to watch the Original Trilogy, completely invested in the fact that our heroes will triumph, and then they want us to watch The Force Awakens and just be totally OK with the fact that everything we were just presented with over the course of three films is out the window.

    They want Star Wars fans to spend several hours watching Han and Leia’s love story, watching them fight for each other, overcome personal obstacles to be together, make incredible sacrifices for each other–they want us to spend ESB and ROTJ rooting for them, want us to watch Han hold her close as they both smile at the end of the trilogy, want us to be happy and hopeful and thrilled that their true love has made it through–and then they want us to watch TFA and see that their marriage failed, and they want us to accept it.

    They want us to get invested in our heroes–in Han and Luke and Leia–and desperately hope that they all make it through. They want us to be invested in their personal allegiances to one another to the point that we KNOW that Han will come back at the battle of Yavin for Luke and Leia, we KNOW that he’ll go out into freezing conditions to rescue Luke, we KNOW that he’ll run into Echo Base to rescue Leia on Hoth, we KNOW that Luke will ignore his Jedi Masters and abandon his training to go rescue Leia and Han on Bespin, we KNOW that Leia will risk her safety to go back for Luke at Cloud City, we KNOW that Luke and Leia will leave the rebellion and put themselves at risk to rescue Han, WE KNOW WE KNOW WE KNOW. The new canon wants us to sit there KNOWING ALL THESE THINGS, knowing that they are the most important damn things in the galaxy to one another, knowing that they’re family and that they love each other. They want us to know it and be invested in it and root for it–root for the strength of that bond and that loyalty and root for them all to make it through together–for all of them to triumph together. And they do!

    And then TFA wants us to COMPLETELY CHANGE OUR MINDS and accept that all of that is destroyed. That bond is broken. Luke has abandoned his friends for some reason. Han has left Leia. Leia is all alone. And not only has that crucial bond just been cast aside, but their triumphs have all been undone. Empire defeated?? Welcome to Empire 2.0!!! Death Stars destroyed??? Welcome to Death Star 3.0!!!! Vader redeemed???? Welcome to Vader 2.0, and even worse, he’s your own damn son/nephew AND he kills Han!!!!!! It just takes their victory and deconstructs every single piece of it, and the only possible way that that maybe could have been tolerable would have been if AT LEAST they were still together, still true to the loyalty we knew, unstoppable and united no matter what new dangers they face, and they’re NOT. The Original Trio, the most beloved and iconic characters of all time, are just completely leveled to NOTHING. Fractured and broken up and reduced to these miserable un-versions of themselves. And the new canon wants you, as a Star Wars fan to accept this, because “Don’t worry!! We have these three shiny NEW heroes for you!!!! They’ll get a happy ending for sure!!!!” But??? What??? I don’t give a shit about their ending, what about the ending we were already supposed to have had???? The one you made me hope for for three damn movies??? The one I was lead to believe was true???? What about that ending??????

    No, they decided that they were going to go back thirty years after the fact and change it.

    But wait, you say, how did this happen??? How could these people at Lucasfilm who were claiming to “protect” Star Wars destroy Luke and Leia and Han like that?? How could they write a Han Solo who abandons Leia to do all the fighting all alone when there’s a fascist regime routinely trying to kill her and their son is a part of it and her brother has vanished without a trace??? How could they write a Luke who’s evidently turned his back on the galaxy–on the FAMILY–that needs him??? How could they have DESTROYED LEIA’S WHOLE LIFE????? ALL of their lives???? And for seemingly no reason!!!! They could have easily written a movie to introduce the new characters and create conflict without dismantling every single thing about our beloved trio and their dynamic. But they didn’t. They slaughtered them.

    And then you listen to these people speak. And they start saying things like Leia clearly could never have been an attentive mother because she was too preoccupied with politics and her career. Han could never have been happy settling down and committing to something–not even his family–so OBVIOUSLY he left and he’s smuggling again. Han and Leia were too incompatible and could never have worked. Luke is off in EXILE because AREN’T ALL JEDI MASTERS SUPPOSED TO BE IN EXILE???????????

    And you’re just. You’re floored. You’re blown away. It’s like those people didn’t even fucking WATCH Star Wars. Did they completely miss the fact that Leia’s character arc is about learning to care about things that aren’t the rebellion, and learning to rely on people–not just herself???? Did they not see how much she’s already lost–LITERALLY HER ENTIRE WORLD–and how much she had to suffer before she finally got something that was hers again? Did they not see the hell she had to go through to get it???? Did they really think she would throw that away after all that–did they think that LEIA of all people couldn’t have balanced a career and a family????

    Were they just twiddling their thumbs when HAN SOLO’S ENTIRE FREAKING STORY IS ABOUT REALIZING THAT HE’S NOT A SMUGGLER, NOT SELFISH, NOT THAT MAN ANYMORE–MAYBE NEVER REALLY WAS THAT MAN. LEARNING TO COMMIT–TO STAY WITH LEIA AND LUKE AND THE REBELS AND SACRIFICE HIMSELF IF NEED BE????? HIS ENTIRE GROWTH AS A CHARACTER WAS AWAY FROM SELFISHNESS AND FLIGHTINESS. HE BECAME A STEADFAST, BRAVE, DEPENDABLE MAN COMMITTED TO HIS FRIENDS AND HIS LOVE AND THE CAUSE. HOW DID THEY WATCH THOSE FILMS AND SAY “WELL HAN COULD NEVER SETTLE DOWN.”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Did they not notice that Luke’s DEFINING characteristic throughout the original trilogy is his loyalty to his loved ones??? His utter refusal to let harm come to them–to give up on them?? His refusal to abandon them???? And then they want us to believe that he… abandoned them?????

    So essentially the thing about the new canon is that people who don’t understand Star Wars are suddenly in charge of Star Wars, and they go back and ignore the characterization of three entire films and present us with material that is entirely contradictory of the original trilogy, and then they don’t understand why people have reacted negatively. 

    And then of course you get fans screaming about how it’s REALISTIC this way.

    When the fuck did you get the idea that Star Wars is supposed to be realistic??????? Star Wars is NOT about realism. It’s a Space Fairytale. An epic saga. It’s not supposed to be Game of Thrones grimdark jam in the tragedy. It was never like that for forty years. It was never presented that way. George Lucas was ADAMANT in making this point. And that’s why it resonated with so many people–that’s why it was such a success. Because it was uplifting. It was inspiring. It touched that part of our hearts where those fairytales live–where it’s possible for our heroes to go up against the forces of evil and WIN and have a happy ending. That’s why they gave Luke and Leia and Han the happy fucking ending!!!!

    And the thing with the new canon is that they don’t care. They don’t care about “protecting Star Wars.” They don’t care about what Star Wars stands for. They don’t care about what George Lucas created. They care about money. They don’t want you to be invested in Han and Luke and Leia anymore. They want you to care about Finn and Rey and Poe, and apparently no one at Lucasfilm understood that they didn’t have to destroy the old characters to get people to like the new ones.

    And for the record, just because the people delivering this truly appalling “new canon” horrorshow AU are Disney and Lucasfilm does NOT mean that I have to accept it all as true. They don’t understand Star Wars, they don’t care about it, they’re not its original creator, and I don’t have to accept a single thing they say.

    That’s the thing about the new canon.

    Yes. This, so much this. 

    Imagine that you could write a generational story without destroying what came before. It’s not that hard!

    It’s infuriating, because self-contained the OT’s story – the tragedies and losses and struggles within each of those three movies – is to make the ending a reward. Add the PT, made after the OT, and the OT’s ending is now not just a reward for our current characters and us as an audience – it’s a reward for all the tragedies, losses and struggles that happened in the PT and ended in pain.

    And then the ST/TFA comes along and says ‘no’.

    That reward there for things suffered, the growth of characters as well as relationships and the whole galaxy? No, it doesn’t exist anymore. Take this thing instead.

    Thanks but no thanks.

    For me, part of the problem is that we don’t really know the details of what happened between the OT and TFA. Maybe there are somewhat reasonable explanation for the situation in TFA (even if I don’t like the OT trio being unhappy anyway), but we haven’t seen those yet.

    Like, we know that Luke left, but we don’t know what exactly he’s looking for – maaaaybe there’s something on Anch-To that was worth it, but right now I can’t imagine what that might be. We know that Ben turned to the Dark Side, wants to be President of the Darth Vader fanclub, and that Snoke had something to do with it. No idea how none of his family members noticed that he was being manipulated (even if Snoke was using telepathy), or how he was able to kill all the other Jedi apprentices. Same with Leia’s and Han’s marriage failing and Han going back to smuggling. Yes, I can believe that they would have had relationship problems, that Leia would bury herself in her work both out of necessity and as a coping mechanism

    and maybe Han would leave for a while (but come back once things got serious enough that Leia had to start the Resistance!). Honestly, couldn’t he have been on some mission, possibly smuggling supplies for the Resistance, when he found the Millenium Falcon Rey and Finn? And then there’s things like R2 shutting down until the narratively convenient moment instead of doing what Luke woud’ve likely wanted him to do aka helping Leia…

    As a result, it feels like no one has really achieved anything lasting. Like no one is getting a happy ending anymore (not even the new trio probably), because while I didn’t ever expect or want them to settle down and retire completely I did think they might be better off than during the war against the Empire, and they’re not.

    Leia is

    at least leading the Rebellion 2.0 Resistance, and while it’s a little disappointing that the New Republic isn’t supporting her until it’s too late, I don’t find that difficult to believe that the majority of the politicians who never fought against the Empire in any way would fail to recognize the threat. But Leia is still alone, with every person who was truly close to her gone. I’m also kinda bitter bc they didn’t mention her connection to the remaining Alderaanians at all. 

    Han has left and is basically where he was in ANH except he’s more ready to go help the Resistance. And of course, Luke is the only Jedi once again. Perhaps he had managed to found a new Jedi Order, but seeing as it was destroyed, it feels like it wasn’t something that ever mattered at all. Hopefully that will change as we get more info, but why couldn’t they have introduced a remnant of his Jedi Order, fighting with the Resistance, with the different rules we’d expect from Luke’s Jedi. And also given a better explanation for his absence. 

    Tl;dr I hope we get some good explanations soon, but right now I can’t help but be dissatisfied with the things listed above (and in some cases I’m not sure how convincing they can make those explanations).