But really can you imagine how much fun Harry would have had with an animagus as a father? James giving little five year old Harry stag-rides on his back prancing along in the backyard, James going to “mow the lawn” and then Harry looks out his window and dies of laughter when he sees a stag just casually grazing the grass, Harry yelling “DAD!” when he sees an antler poking out of a bush as he tries to have a moment with Ginny.
And idk I feel like James would turn every now and then just to clear his head if he’s feeling overwhelmed and one night Harry can’t sleep because of similar reasons and he goes to the backyard and sees a stag sitting on the grass and he doesn’t say anything but Harry goes over sits down next to James and just stays there because it’s so easy and so natural and not weird at all.
Goethe-Institut did a web series a while back aimed at new arrivals in Germany and I like how it make sure to teach people that a lot of Germans are rude af
Well she’s obviously doing it wrong. You got to mumble “Guten Tag” in no one’s actual direction upon entering the waiting room. Then you don’t speak a word (you gotta grab a magazine though, because if you’re on your mobile people will find that asocial) until the doctor calls you and when you get back to retrieve your jacket you mumble “Auf Wiedersehen”.
If you say “Guten Tag” while sitting down it’s either because you’re passive-aggressively shaming the person you’re talking to for not saying “Guten Tag” (which is of course highly respectable, but weird if they did say it) or worse:
You’re trying to make small-talk.
See also: when entering a crowded bus, tram, subway or train, you do not say a single word. You look for an empty bench. If there are none, you will have a neighbour. You stop at an empty spot and mumble something like “tschulli-ng” or “s-nch-frei?” to the person occupying the other spot on the bench. You nod in an upward direction. They reply a mumbled “türlich” while vaguely looking somewhere near your face and moving their bag if neccessary. You sit down, nod gratefully, and keep your mouth shut for the rest of the ride. Neither of you wanted this. You wanted freedom. Don’t bother each other.
If an entire bench in front of you becomes available at the next stop, though, it is not the polite thing to free your neighbour and yourself up. No, you stay right where you are. The silent stranger next to you is your silent stranger now.
Welcome to Germany. This is how we express love.
None of these people are joking.
And if you’re the one sitting at the window and you want to get off at the next stop, you begin to loudly rustle with your bag whatever, because that way you can signal the other person that you need them to get up without having to speak to them.
I think I would really like Germany. This sounds like my kind of social interaction.
I’ve lived in Germany since I was 7, I do most of these things, and I thought it was just me and my slight social anxiety but now I realize it may be a cultural thing subconsciously transferred by watching others do it for years osmosis.
But: If you’re feeling self-confident, you can say “Guten Tag” or even “Hallo” (and later goodbye) in a waiting room – as long as you say it to the whole room, not a specific person. Which means you should do it when entering, definitely before sitting down, or it’ll be Too Late. (Also I don’t care if anyone thinks I’m asocial for being on mobile, lots of other people usually are.)
And when you’re on public transport and sitting next to someone who doesn’t leave when most others do, you can go to a free bench as long as it is far away enough that it looks like you left the train.
Like, preferably in a different wagon.
so there’s no way the other person could see you sit down and think you just wanted to get away from them ok that really might be anxiety.
My friend from Bayern adds that in Bayern, it’s considered polite to ask if a seat is free and if you may sit next or opposite someone even when it clearly is free. Don’t do that in Berlin. (Unless you need the person to remove their bag.)
A polite and attentive person will move their bag before you have to mumble anything at them.
The “rustling with your bag before having to get up”is also very recognizable, although that’s only if the person is reading or something – if they’re just staring at empty space, it’s usually enough to turn your body towards the exit and stare at it. (Though saying that you need to get up is not impossible, it’s just been unnecessary so often that it feels weird when it is.)
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