Schlagwort: :-D

mooot:

whyisbarrydying:

toomanycooksnotenoughspoons:

burnsombreroburn:

tinyinumason:

rigberts:

trinklied:

punkfaery:

friendlyneighborhoodpixie:

miggylol:

I’ve found it. I’ve found the worst thing.

“The worst thing?”

You FOOL.

It can ALWAYS be worse.

you are like a little baby. watch this.

#please keep adding terrible jeans to this post
 

ok

@deanbeltingbohemianrhapsody

@burnsombreroburn

There isn’t a word for how big a train wreck this is

@whyisbarrydying

Walk walk fashion baby

vampireapologist:

actually when I was in 8th grade and obsessed with twilight my master plan as a twilight vampire was to sit around in famous shipwrecks like the super deep ones where they can only send robots with cameras from their submarines and when they sent one down i’d be sitting there, pretending to drink out of an old tea cup you know for the drama of it all and the guys in the submarine would know what they saw and that it was real footage but who else would believe them? no one important.

but it didn’t stop there. at the next party they threw to celebrate one of their latest finds, some museum-y banquet idk I was 13, I was going to show up. I was going to show up and make eye contact with them one at a time from across the room and they were going to lose their goddamn minds and then before the volturi could catch wind i was gonna be back in the ocean. how could they find me?

the drama. the theatrics. i can’t believe i didn’t realize i was gay right then but that’s another story, also involving vampires,

Cursed Book Onion Headlines

kareenvorbarra:

General

  • Family Watching Movie White-Knuckles It Through Unexpected Sex Scene

Hurin

  • No One Really Knows What Dad Was Doing From 1985 To 1988
  • I Was Skeptical At First, But It Turns Out Those 20 Years Of Solitary Confinement Were Exactly What I Needed
  • Your Kids: Are They Sexy Enough?
  • When I Die, I’m Going To Haunt The Fuck Out Of You People

Huor

  • Man On Gurney Has Brief Word With Protagonist Before Entering Ambulance

Morwen

  • Area Woman’s Safety Net Braces For Another Impact
  • How To Talk To Your Child About Death

Aerin

  • Area Woman Not Listened To Again

Turin

  • Take-Charge, Can-Do Guy Makes Terrible Decisions
  • Man Who Thought He’d Lost All Hope Loses Last Additional Bit Of Hope He Didn’t Even Know He Still Had

Nienor

  • Hotshot Test Pilot Removes Helmet, Reveals Female Status
  • Looking Back On My Life, I Guess My Biggest Regret Is Trying To Fight That Alligator 5 Minutes Ago
  • Report: Just So You Know, Your Younger Sister Probably Getting Laid Pretty Regularly These Days

Brandir

  • Cousins Meaner This Year

Tuor

  • Kidnapped Boy Found Safe, Imagines Kidnapped Boy
  • Teens Going Through Anti-Government Guerrilla Phase

irreverentecthelion:

silm characters in a horror movie

fëanor: convinces everyone to go into the haunted house

thingol: stays tucked up safe at home but dares beren to follow fëanor and co.

amrod: doesn’t make it past the opening credits

turgon: *repeats “this can’t be happening” ad infinitum*

lúthien: is coming up with a wildly elaborate escape plan while everyone else is freaking out

curufin: loftily taunts the villain and is promptly killed mid-taunt

celegorm: is Smart enough to try the same thing as curufin about five minutes later, with the same result

glorfindel: spends the first half of the movie calming everyone down. then has a ridiculous slapstick death involving hair and household appliances

ecthelion: charges at the villain yelling at the top of his voice. it doesn’t go well.

maglor: last man standing

finarfin: at home eating popcorn and watching netflix the whole time