There most be some fangirls in Gotham ship Bruce Wayne/Batman.
I’m imagining the fanfic, and it is filling me with glee! “The billionaire playboy shrank back a little from the vigilante. ‘W-what are you doing?’ He couldn’t help noticing his heartbeat had picked up. Batman looked back at him, his gaze expressionless. ‘I’m here to save your life, Mr. Wayne.’”
Bruce probably started the trend.
“Where did this ship even COME FROM?”
“IDK, someone wrote a really popular fic about it two years ago and everyone got on board.”
“Yeah, wasn’t his username grandfatherclock or something like that…”
No, see, this is brilliant because it actually works, because their “personalities” are so opposite that this ship would really appeal. “You need to lighten up, Batman.” “You need to take things more seriously, Mr Wayne.” “When was the last time you had any fun?” “When was the last time you did anything else?”
3hr long arguments about whether the best way to reform Gotham is through the Wayne Foundation charities and rebuilding initiatives or taking down the mobs and crime families that secretly run the city.
At the end, Bruce uses his rich-boy skills to take down a few henchmen – “What, you think I’ve never swung a golf club before?” – and Batman lets himself reluctantly be convinced to go out for ice cream.
(They’ve headcanoned Batman as blond to fit the necessary slash pairing requirements)
The comments are all, “OMG, have you ever noticed how Batman always intervenes when something shady goes down with the Wayne Foundation? I mean, not that it’s like, out of character, foil Penguin’s plot to block a low-income housing proposal so he can put up another casino there, or whatever, he does that for everyone, but have you noticed that he’s involved every time it’s Wayne Foundation? OMG THEY ARE DATING IN REAL LIFE THIS IS TOTALLY CANON!”
It’s the most popular Real Person ship in Gotham.
(Robin: “You know like, half the internet is shipping you with yourself.” Bruce: “I am large, Tim. I contain multitudes.” smirk.)
Vader’s vocabulary is so much more extensive and haughty than Anakin’s ever was and I just like to think about this huge Dark Lord of the Sith sitting around reading the dictionary out of sheer boredom
Well to be fair it’s not like he had any friends left to chill with
Everyone is Dead, I Can’t Breathe, and I’m So Goddamn Bored by Darth Vader
It’s funny I had this exact same thought. Like he’s so posh? So dignified-ly evil? Is he trying to imitate Obi Wan or something? Or does the breathing mask filter what he says because Palpatine doesn’t trust him to not start ranting about sand so he just rigged Vader’s mask?
let’s stop seeing sex as the biggest thing you can do to show someone you love them
everyone knows that the real way to show someone you love them is to find them a really cool rock. not a diamond. just a neat rock that you think they will enjoy
Not a rock THE ARKENSTONE
Why just one rock Why not three Why not the silmarils
Tbh, if you don’t think Bilbo Baggins is a little shit, you haven’t read the stunt he pulled when he left his belongings to his relatives after he left the Shire:
Dora, your advice is trash With love, Bilbo
I mean, seriously, the little shit
I cry
B.B.
B. fucking B.
*throws all the shade, Baggins style*
when someone changes their url and at first you’re like: what, who’s that, when did I follow that blog, did I forget a chunk of my life?
“Oh Tumblr app,” cries Stratford’s worthy Bard.
“Pray tell me sir why sucketh thou so hard.”
“O gracious lady,” cries the stricken app, “Why blam’st thou me, when I am but a tool To access all thy gifs, thy puns and rap Renditions of the Civil War. The fool Who programmed me – on him please turn thy rage, Thy righteous ire, with cannons all alight; But I, poor app, already weak with age, Like thee am injured party in this fight.”
Thou witless app, as witless as thy scribe, A tool of Yahoo’s eminent domain Would have me from the Kool-Aid fast imbibe And sing your “Best that we can do”
refrain. Though puns and gibes and sometimes also porn This feckless friend reels in on my command It shows me naught but sideblog notes with
scorn; Sends cramps all through my weary typing hand. Thou injured app! Appeal to those who
toil With code to bring delight into our phones Else from your use we sadly must recoil And trudge through Tumblr filled with sighs and
moans. Perhaps I do complain too much to bear I’m spoiled by tech and urge your quick repair.
The app
gives out a long and keening wail, Then for some time remains quite still; for grief Has struck it dumb. But then it speaks: “If rail Thou must,
why charge thou me? For if a thief Doth use a
lock pick to purloin what’s thine Why, then thou
blam’st the thief! And so in this: Thy cause
is just, and yet the fault’s not mine If there is
one who, villain that he is, Mistreats his dog, dost thou not charge him cease And not attack the dog? I beg of thee” – And here
a strangled sob is heard – “peace; peace!” The app kneels
down to render now its plea: “O lady, if
thou wilt, with thee I’ll stand To fight @staff together, hand in hand.”
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