dog riding pony
Schlagwort: :-D
The Silmarillion (or ‘If You Try Hard And Believe In Yourself, Your Family Drama Can Destroy A Continent’)
Prologue: Choir Auditions Today (Improvisational Jazz Not Welcome)
Introduction: Dear World, Meet Your New Bosses
1. Melkor Says Light Is For Squares
2.
Aulë Gets To Sleep On The Couch
3. The Elves Take A Road Trip
4. Getting Distracted By A Hot Girl Only Leads To Good Things
5. Paradise Is A Sort-Of Island In The Middle Of Nowhere
6. This Pardon Is Absolutely The Right Decision
7. The Best Way To Deal With Stress Is Infighting
8. Melkor Says Light Is For Squares (Again)
9. Fëanor Makes A Rash Decision
10. Teamwork And Magic Can Fix Anything
11. The Valar Say Light Is Awesome
12. Men Shall (Eventually) Inherit The Earth
13. Cliffhangers Suck
14. Everybody Gets A Kingdom
15. Banning A Language Will Totally Solve Your Problems
16. Orphan Does His Best To Fit In After Horrible Childhood
17. Men Show Up Fifteen Minutes Late With Starbucks
18. There Is Absolutely No Way It Can Get Worse
19. The Happiest People In This Book Have Fun Adventures
20. It Got Worse
21. You Won’t Believe How Awful This Guy’s Life Is
22. Aggressive Negotiations Make Everyone Hate You
23. When Ulmo Says Leave, You Leave
24. The Valar Get Dangerous
Interlude: Colonialism Is Caused By Devil Worship
Epilogue: By Now You Should Have Learned Not To Trust Jewelry
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Calculus
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Algebra
Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Theorem
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Analysis
Harry Potter and the Order of Operations
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Statistician
Harry Potter and the Deathly Algorithms
OH MY GOsh
AND THE ORDER OF OPERATIONS
I’m in Dumbledores math club…
More like Harry Hypotternuse.
You’re a mathemagician, Harry.
Proposal: Lúthien can’t sing
Who, that has heard her, says she can?
Daeron. Trying to get into her pants.
Beren. Has spent however many years living alone in the wilderness killing orcs with his teeth. Would probably fall in love with a fox’s awful mating screech if the fox also offered him compassion and understanding.
Stone. Crumbles.
Morgoth: Falls asleep. I don’t know about you, but I rarely fall asleep at concerts, especially when I’m having lascivious thoughts about the artist.
Mandos: Raises the dead to make her stop and go away.
Nightingales: Are birds. What the fuck do birds know about music?
listen I love those ‘imagine Padmé giving birth during the Clone Wars aus’ but instead of the Jedi Council just being okay with it for no real logical reason other than ‘we need general Skywalker because he’s the chosen one’ please imagine Padmé and Anakin still trying to keep their relationship a secret even when it starts getting ridiculous.
Obi-Wan: Anakin why do Senator Amidala’s children look like you?
Anakin: The Force is my father so maybe it bullshitted them some genes too.Mace: Anakin why did you move into Senator Amidala’s home?
Anakin: What? She needed help raising the twins. I’m just being helpful.Rex: Umm General Skywalker? Why is there a baby strapped to your chest?
Anakin: Luke is sick and Senator Amidala didn’t want Leia to catch it. I’m babysitting.Ahsoka: Master, we’re on a mission. Why are we stopping to buy toys for the Senator’s children?
Anakin: Listen Ahsoka, Luke and Leia will love this.Everyone who knows Anakin and Padmé: Look Anakin, we know you’re the father.
Anakin: *snuggled up to Padmé and they both have a sleeping baby in their arms* I have no idea what you’re talking about.
The Brews of Middle Earth – Created by Cory Freeman
All designs on sale at Cory’s TeePublic Shop as T-shirts, prints, and cases, starting at $13.
Screw the shirts, where can I buy those drinks?
Awesome! I would like to try all of these brews!
Bilbo: and before your quest, I have this mithril coat for you. Wear it under your clothes. That way, you can fake your death and watch the rest of the Fellowship to see how they act when they think you just died.
Fucking humans with their fucking shoddy work conditions this iron is barely even pure and he wants the blade all “cuuuuuurvy” and can only pay in coins that aren’t even gold and what is up with their tall as fuck anvils everything’s too tall now Mahal-dammit. When I get my kingdom back it’s nothing but right angles and gems on everything and anvils that are the RIGHT FUCKING SIZE forever and ever.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I would happily have watched “Bitter Smithing: The Film.”
And no one even bothers to offer him a box… so sad.
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