Schlagwort: :-D

Silmarillion Onion Headlines: Part 2, The Secondborn

Beor: Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy
Andreth: Child Assured It Will Be Long Time Before He Dies
Barahir: Near-Death Experience Followed By Right-On-The-Money-Death Experience
Beren: Bad Boy Fencing Star Implicated In Yet Another Daring Jewel Heist
Morwen: Sole Survivor Of Plane Crash Suffering From Survivor’s Pride
Turin: Disaster, Could It Strike Again?
Nienor: Study: Depression Up Among Teenage Girls Able To Perceive Any Part Of World Around Them
Hurin: Man Wakes From Nightmare Relieved It Only Expression Of His Real-Life Problems
Tuor: ‘The Time To Act Is Now,’ Says Yellowing Climate Change Report Sitting In University Archive
Haleth: Woman Confusingly Tells Area Man She’s Not Interested In Him
Erendis and Aldarion: Amazon.com Recommendations Understand Area Woman Better Than Husband
Tar-Ancalime: Area Woman Not A Morning, Afternoon, Or Night Person
Ar-Pharazon: Study Finds Majority Of Deaths Caused By Failure To Heed Omens
Tar-Miriel: How Climate Change Will Affect You
Elendil: Jake Hyland Of Kansas City, MO Chosen As Nation’s Designated Survivor In Case Rest Of Country Wiped Out During Presidential Address

gurguliare:

all-things-devours:

From Vinyar Tengwar #47: Tolkien’s attempt at demonstrating the left-handed “backwards tengwar”, which the ambidextrous Elves would write in a right-to-left direction when using the left hand. (Tolkien, however, was not ambidextrous.)

The first word is Mordor and the second is Tindómerel without the E tehtar.

#this is a good metaphor for the entire legendarium tho#TOLKIEN HOWEVER WAS NOT AMBIDEXTROUS

sons of fëanor u should fight

thetraitorteryn:

misbehavingmaiar:

gloriousmonsters:

maedhros: he’s really big? like i know elves are usually big, but he’s bigger. he will probably just hold u at arm’s length while u flail and it will be embarassing for everyone. plus the poor guy’s been through enough. don’t fight maedhros. u will get beaten up or u will feel bad for heaping more misfortune on him and either way u lose. for the love of god don’t fight someone CLOSE to maedhros though u will definitely die.


maglor: ‘he’s just a singer’ u think. ‘how tough can he be’ u think. ‘he spent years just wandering around moping right, i can totally take him.’ u are wrong. maglor does not mope, he broods. he broods upon ASSKICKING. plus all that walking and musical instrument hefting and occasional kinslaying have given him fantastic muscles. don’t fight maglor. he will kick ur ass and then write a song about it, kind of like t-swift writes songs about her exes. don’t do it.


celegorm: u should fight celegorm. he will beat u up but he deserves to be punched so. much. the silmarillion has no official character descriptions and still everyone draws him looking as smug and punchable as hell. his punchable qualities cross time and permeate legends. fight celegorm, for all of us.


caranthir: u might want to fight caranthir but don’t. i know it’s really funny when he turns red and u think you can just make him pass out from yelling at you before anyone lands a single punch. yes. that may be true. but what ur not thinking of is that this is the money guy. if u are on tumblr there is a high chance u are broke and will not be able to pay the legal fees he will attack u with. he will probably not accept ur invitation to settle things out of court. don’t fight caranthir, but give him a really dirty look.


curufin: u will not fight curufin. curufin will fight u. he is already fighting u, and u just didn’t know it. that is how curufin rolls and u honestly don’t stand a chance.


amrod&amras: unknown. these guys are scanty info central, and if u know anything about mysterious twins in fiction that means they’re probably serial killers. don’t fight amrod and amras, or at least bring a friend.

Everything about this post is perfect 

this is unbelievably accurate 10/10