Of all a deer’s senses, their eyesight is the worst.
IT DOESN’T HELP THAT THOSE ARE POSSUMS WHO ALSO HAVE TERRIBLE EYESIGHT. XD SO BOTH CREATURES DIDN’T REALIZE WHAT WAS WHAT UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE I’M DYING.
1. a Specialty, 2. made with love and a complete lack of fucks 3. honestly the most Terrifying substance in existence
Every Jedi has their own particular twist – Kit Fisto uses a hallucinogenic seaweed found on his native planet. Plo Koon’s is literally lethal to non Kel-Dor but is the galaxy’s best known grease remover. Mace’s stash appears relatively tame, but has an aftertaste that kicks in half an hour later when you’ve already drunk half the bottle and cannot be removed by any mouthwash known to civilization. No one knows what Yoda’s tastes like, except possibly Dooku and the only time he was ever asked his eyes went blank, his shoulder twitched compulsively and he he immediately called a retreat – it is therefore the most sought after secret in the temple. Luminara has a variety that tastes of something only describable as “pure regret”. She’s been working on “horrified realisation” for a while now but has only managed “embarassed mortification”. Qui-Gon liked to infuse tea and spices into his brew, and brought back more than a few exotic species to feed his habit. Obi-Wan continues the tradition, however due to the increasing stresses of war the tea varieties he uses have steadily been increasing in both bitterness and caffeine content. It is colloquially known as “the sleepless death” and is banned in eight star systems. Skywalker’s version is surprisingly palatable, does not cause hallucinations and packs a kick stronger than a Dug on steroids. It’s made of bugs.
THE SLEEPLESS DEAR BANNED IN RIGHT SYSTEMS. OBI-WAN PLEASE!
My phone hates me.
The sleepless death banned in eight systems. Obi-Wan please!
Necromancer: Did you know that dinosaur skeletons in museums are usually fake casts?
Someone: Did the Internet tell you that?
Necromancer: Nope, just a series of disappointing museum trips.
Aww, don’t cry anon! (You must be the first person to weep for lack of murderdads) Here’s a sneak peak from the next chapter if it’ll cheer you up!
“What was Manwë like?” said Elrond hopefully – hopeful of avoiding another fight and, if he was honest, hopeful of a proper answer. Nurse had spoken of the Valar as awesome, fearsome things, like distant lightning and storms upon the sea. Maglor and Maedhros acted more as though they were tiresome, meddlesome old neighbours.
“Ah, child, you know not what you ask,” said Maglor, spreading his hands. His hair stirred, though the storeroom was close and airless, and the spilt flour swirled about his feet. “Manwë is the scull of clouds across clear skies and the screaming squalls that ruin crops and toss baby birds from their nests. He is peace and bones bleaching upon the high peaks, mercy and the eagle’s red-stained beak. He-”
“He’s blue,” said Maedhros.
The swirling white clouds stilled and then fell back to earth. “He’s not blue. He’s ineffable.”
“That’s never seemed to stop you effing. Blue.”
“What kind of blue?” said Elrond.
“Duck egg.”
“He’s not. If anything he’s eau de Nil.”
“So blue then?” ventured Elros.
“One of his favoured forms for coming amongst us was blue,” Maglor allowed. “But it certainly was not duck egg. My brother has no eye for colour.”
McGonagall: now class, what is the difference between an animagus and a werewolf?
Sirius: *raises hand*
McGongall: yes Mr. Black?
Sirius: an animagus has better hair
Remus: *raises hand* well werewolves are taller
Remus: generally speaking
Sirius: *raises hand* WELL animagi have better bodies!
James: *raises hand* I second that and I also second that they have better hair
Remus: *raises hand* well werewolves don’t have the time or energy to style their hair for 20 minutes, particularly around the full moon!
Peter: *raises hand* plus, werewolves don’t sing obnoxiously in the shower
Class:……
Sirius: animagi are sexier
James: yeah!
McGonagall: …..while I appreciate the compliments, those were not the answers I was looking for
Tbh Melkor And Ungoliant’s Road Trip From Hell is one of my fave elf hell bits especially the part where Ungoliant is like “let me eat your phone” and Melkor is like [visibly texting] “I don’t have a phone”
Glancing at the Silmarillion fandom from afar: Detailed descriptions, intense character relations and details, sons of fëanor 89% of the material, Melkor might be sassy but sauron is VERY sassy, fingon and maedhros are dedicated husbands okay, FËANOR FËANOR FËANOR
Actually reading the Silmarillion: hundreds of years of events are covered in like two pages, um I think the sons of fëanor are doing something like over there and over here maybe, Morgoth is sending out orcs, sauron is being mauled by a talking dog– maedhros was held in captivity but you might have missed that if you weren’t paying close enough attention and fingon was there but literally it’s like a page moving on– elu thingol is actually the only one with development here to be honest I don’t know why he’s so ignored– also fëanor died like forever ago
i know it’s super insignificant but i’ve always wondered about the “we’ll pay you the rest when we reach alderaan” part because did obi-wan really have this much money stashed away or was he just planning to go “hello bail, old friend, nice to see you again, it’s been years, pay for my cab please?”
It’s even funnier because in the audio drama he and Han have a debate about money and he tells Han he’s gotten along just fine all his life without money, and asks Han, “Have you seen a single credit pass through my hands?” and Han is like, “Uh, the kid here paid for your ride” and Obi Wan is just like “exactly.” So you know he was totally planning on just having Bail pay the rest.
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