Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.
I have been waiting for this post all my life.
They are indeed purple, But one thing you’ve missed: The concept of “purple” Didn’t always exist.
Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”
A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.
So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I’m hugely pedantic But what else is new?
My friend you’re not wrong
About Homer’s wine-ey sea!
Colours are a matter
Of cultural contingency;
Words are in flux
And meanings they drift
But the word purple
You’ve given short shrift.
The concept of purple,
My friends, is old
And refers to a pigment
once precious as gold.
By crushing up molluscs
From the wine-dark sea
You make a dye:
Imperial decree
Meant that in Rome,
to wear purpura
was a privilege reserved
For only the emperor!
The word ‘purple’,
for clothes so fancy,
Entered English
By the ninth century
.
Why then are voilets
Not purple in song?
The dye from this mollusc,
known for so long
Is almost magenta;
More red than blue.
The concept of purple
is old, and yet new.
The dye is red,
So this might be true:
Roses are purple
And violets are blue
.
While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too.
But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.
Erestor: My Lord, are you sure about this?
Elrond: It is the only way to decide this thing fairly. Circumstances are too grave to simply assign it to anyone.
Glorfindel: Let us begin. Then it will be done all the sooner.
Elrond: Alright, so we’re agreed. Whomever draws the shortest straw has to write to Thranduil informing him that his only child is on a perilous quest to Mount Doom in the company of a dwarf –
Erestor: And Gandalf.
Elrond: – to help a hobbit dispose of the one ring which was used in his realm 60 years ago to free the dwarves from his stronghold?
Glorfindel: On second thought, are there any Balrogs left? I’ll die quicker that way…
And in case you wanted to know why Leia was kicked out of boarding school.
[text referring to Princess Leia from a database, likely as a bonus/flavor text in a videogame:
Letter to Senator Bail Organa:
To the Most Respected Senator Organa,
It is with the deepest regret that I must return to you your thirty-thousand credit bond, and your Princess. Our institution has existed for several thousand years. It prides itself in molding young girls from Alderaan’s finest families into young women whose behavior and decorum is the pride of those families.
However, we believe that Princess Leia is incapable of conforming to our standards. This is the unanimous decision of the Board of Directors, and was arrived at due to three separate infractions.
a) The Princess led a sit-in rebellion of students during breakfast, when they were served bottled juice instead of freshly squeezed.
b) The Princess re-programmed the PA system to play the Anthem of the Republic (in direct violation of Imperial Edict 2.33b) during assembly.
c) The Princess sliced a secure mainframe and swapped every reference to Emperor Palpatine with Emperor… well, let us just say that is is a word seven year old Princesses should not know.
Yours, with respect, Madam Nestor, Govorness, Grevasse City Colloglum for Young Ladies]
LEIA ORGANA GOT KICKED OUT OF BOARDING SCHOOL BC SHE WAS A LITTLE ANTI-IMPERIALIST PUNK
Padme must be so proud of her little rebel. Though some of her antics really give me a lot of Anakin vibes.
“Stang” is an Alderaanian swear word. Did she call him Emperor Palpastang or something?
Emperor Fuckface
SHE WAS SEVEN I LOVE HER
God that child in Anakin Skywalker’s so hard it HURTS.
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