why does wiggly sword exist? What are they good for?

the-man-who-sold-za-warudo:

Skill: Shows off the blacksmiths massive horse cock. In a time before modern machinery some crazy Germans and Swiss hammered beyond natural human limit. They probably did it as a meme then realised it was actually useful as a weapon. Sharpening a wavy blade would have been a nightmare.

Functional: Good for duelling sword vs sword. A traditional sword allows you to slide off an enemies blade if your swords clash, because the blade is straight. The waves in a flamberg blade creates vibrations which hurts the opponents hands, that doesn’t sound like much but it gives you an advantage. Very useful for parrying since the enemies sword will strike, then the blade gets stuck on your wavy blade or they pull away from the impact shock. Either way you will have an opening to attack. Also the waves cut much deeper similar to a serrated knife. If you got cut once by this blade, you would not be able to stitch your wound shut, you are pretty much sliced bread.

Aesthetic: Someone challenges you to a duel, while they unsheathe their boring longsword, you unwrap your wiggly sword. They immediately apologize and run because you are rich enough to afford a wiggly sword and probably have multiple wenches giving you ankle parchments.

Sauron’s life stages as wolf pupy tweets

the-artifice-of-eternity:

Lieutenant of Angband: i don’t disagree with satan’s core policies i just feel i would do a better job

Thȗ: [david attenborough voice] wolves, also known as nature’s best animal, have been cool for hundreds of thousands of years

Post-War of Wrath: if history has taught us anything i don’t plan to learn it

Annatar: everyone who died and was killed on my quest to get really good hair and fashion deserved it and i don’t care

Tar-Mairon: at the end of the day whats important is not the enemies you’ve crushed and killed, it’s the gems, coins, and jewels you got from doing it

The Zigȗr: another wonderful blood ritual, looks like the satan has done it again. thank you to everyone who was killed

Post-Númenor: if people would just stop constantly betraying me it would cut the amount of time i spend on revenge in half

The Necromancer: had to downgrade from the skull throne to an inflatable chair filled with blood, it sucks.  

Lord of Mordor: i can’t be bothered justifying my actions any more

cycas:

theoldforbiddenplace:

1st Age Easterlings FTW!

Uldor (later known as “the Accursed”) when still very young and long before becoming a traitor (I did unleash my headcanons there a bit… OK, a lot…). And Bór, with his 3 sons (left to right – Borlach, Borlad, Bór, Borthand)…

It’s Bór and his boys !  (And Uldor, but I’m ignoring Uldor) I love Bór even if I do always have to copy and paste him. I so want at least some of his relatives and descendants to escape.  Maybe they join with the ancestors of the Rohirrim, or the Snow-men of  Lossoth, or even get quietly absorbed into the Edain.

cycas:

easterlingwanderer:

Friendly Reminder that Dior the Fair, Son of Beren and Luthien, was human since he was born after his mother was granted the Gift of Men and the Valar cannot take it away.

Keep reading

I don’t think it’s that simple. Luthien was given mortality: whether that bound her child or whether he had the choice is unstated and can reasonably be read (or written) either way.  Tuor seems to have had the rules bent for him somehow. Men are weird and freaky and outside the rules in Middle-earth and it’s a place where rules don’t seem to be absolute and can be changed : if Dior was mad to stay with Nimloth I can see Mandos shrugging helplessly and giving him the phone so he can talk to Eru personally about it.

Dior:  I’M NOT LEAVING. MY WIFE IS AN ELF.  WE WANT TO BE TOGETHER. 

Mandos (shrugging wearily) : Oh god, it’s another of them.  Fine, whatever.  You talk to him, this is above my pay grade: just promise me you won’t call your mum about this. 

I always thought that the Valar came up with the idea of letting Half-Elves choose whether to be immortal or not when Dior (and Elured & Elurin) died and they needed to make a decision.

As far as I remember, there is nothing in canon that indicates he must have been mortal, though it is possible – he still is ¼ Elven and ¼ Maia. Of course, whether a person is mortal or not depends on whether their spirit is human or elven. But I don’t think anyone knows how exactly spirits are “inherited”, or shaped by the identity and/or the spirits of their parents. So, I’d say Dior’s case is inconclusive.

muchymozzarella:

muchymozzarella:

muchymozzarella:

The world is a terrifying place but at least the erupting volcano of Mayon is waking the ancients to remind us of our place

Quick note: original art is by Kerby Rosanes

Link to the original post here on the artist’s IG

Another note: This is in reference to the Filipino legend from Albay called “Daragang Magayon” [literally translated into “beautiful maiden”, with “daraga” meaning “maiden” and “magayon” meaning “beautiful”]

She’s a folk heroine, whose love story can be read here

It is said that her lover, Panganoron, is the clouds that surround Mt. Mayon’s peak, while she is herself the volcano, which has always been seen as remarkably beautiful in shape

It’s said that the volcano grew where they were buried together

Which is why the shape of two lovers seen in the smoke of its most recent eruption is so culturally significant. 

And really, really cool.